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read between the lines
lost this is a poem i wote on my laptop on this day, at roughly around this time. it's not really a mystifying thing, since i wrote it before i thought of creating this blog, but i've cut out a few parts here n there n did some editing.LOST by jessica where am i? I've lost my sense of purpose, sense of direction. I've become too much involved in the ministry of being down. I need a revival I need a life-change but all I get is strength to live on and believe. If only for one second I could be Superman and save the day most importantly, save myself from my tendency to self-destruct. I wonder what tomorrow brings, how long I'll stay in this phase, what makes me different from the rest from their problems and their jest. I know God is listening watching me type feeling me feel but I wonder when I'm gonna feel different somehow, feel that so-called betterness that can be found in Him. I try to move on try to pick up the pieces but my past always comes back to haunt me and my inward self cannot change its old ways its tendency to make mistakes for I am not perfect and never will be. what is my purpose in this? I ask, I wonder what I can do to be of use in this situation to come out stronger from this, to try to make sense of it all by following a purpose anything's better than nothing. some guidance is better than none. I stumble in the dark I see the light and yet I am still lost for I have not found myself yet I am but illuminated in a shadow of gloom. |
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