Recording my journey of trying to make it through life and find God, joy, purpose and meaning along the way...basically in search of eternal life here on earth.

LINKS THAT NO LONGER INTEREST ME
!HERO [the gospel in rock]
parousia
jon foreman
switchfoot
duran duran
kevinmax
the O.C.
jason LO

I WROTE THIS
pseudo-memoir


Background from dctalkunite.com


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jazzed by jamie

see you on the flipside

the accident, narratively

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sing blue silver
time in life and death
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hmmph
put the past away

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read between the lines

Monday, September 21, 2009

what i've been up to

i've been doing a lot of returning to my roots from the pre-depression era lately...and this is one song that came floating back into my mind. kinda relevant considering the last sermon i heard was one on surrendering (the most catchy but unoriginal quote: an abundant life is an abandoned life).

I Turn Everything Over

by SWITCHFOOT

Monday found me on my knees again
Breathing You in
To blur the lines that mark where I begin
And where You end

No use in trying to pretend
Come take me again
'Cause rumor has it I'm not who I've been
Come define me

What can we do
If the rumors are true?

I turn everything over
I turn myself in
I turn everything over
I turn myself in
There's nothing left of me to defend
I turn everything over
I turn myself in, yeah

The evidence convicts the hollow men
After looking inside
To my dismay I find I'm just one of them

'Cause I'm an already but not yet resurrected fallen man
Come break this limbo
And I know You know just who I've been
Come define me

What can we do
If the rumors are true?

I turn everything over
I turn myself in
I turn everything over
I turn myself in
There's nothing left of me to defend
I turn everything over
I turn myself in, yeah

Rumor has it You love me
Rumor has it the world spins upside down
Rumor has it my only hope is You
And the rumors are true
I turn everything over

What can we do
If the rumors are true?

I turn everything over
I turn myself in
I turn everything over
I turn myself in
There's nothing left of me to defend
I turn everything over
I turn myself in

I turn everything over
I turn myself in
I turn everything over
I turn myself in
There's nothing left of me to defend
I turn everything over
I turn myself in, yeah

--
i like that it's an upbeat song because surrendering is easier when it's done gladly. not that it's been easy, or i've succeeded fully. but i'm getting there, i'm getting there all right.

what have i been up to lately? simple pleasures, like:
-good music. third eye blind, travis, jamie cullum, and for the past week, switchfoot's first two albums =)

-reading. yeah i can't believe it either. i recently tried reading children's books (not the picture books, the compendium ones with lots of text) at the library during lunch. i probably look retarded doing it but who cares? haha. they're the only books (aside from magazines) that i can finish within the lunch hour. i read back home too but rarely on weekdays as my eyes need to rest from working their way through work.

-exploring new places on foot. one bad thing though is it's given me the worst outbreak of zits i've ever had, due to this hot weather. the zit army has taken a break on my face and has now returned to invading the shoulder blades, arms, chest, back and entering new territory like the stomach and calfs! unbelievable. but the feeling i get from fulfilling my wanderlust is...good, haha.

-retro-gaming. currently hooked on perfecting my 100-storey sim tower. it's amazing the double high i've gotten from combining my favourite tunes with games, back in the day. i wonder if anyone else does the same. for example, the killers goes well with well, killing, in tomb raider 3, while switchfoot's redemption turbo-charges my playing speed in harry potter 3. i play john mayer while working on roller coaster tycoon 3 and nothing builds momentum like duran duran's greatest hits collection while erecting buildings and feeding the townfolk in zeus.

and pretty soon, i hope to start bowling, journalling and fooling around with the piano again once my wrist totally heals from the accident. i was actually starting to write a few entries again (hadn't written in what, a year?) till the accident kind of put things on hold. it took me a week to move my wrist around again, a month and a half before i could write without wincing in pain, and two months before i could put moderate weight on it (i.e. carry a mug full of water or holding a plate with one hand while washing it).

unfortunately, i, fool that i was, thought i could carry two grocery bags full of a week's supplies of lunch with the injured hand while the other hand squashed the change back into my wallet. i was suffering the consequences of a pain right in the centre of my palm (like a nail-pierced hand?) for days after, so no, i guess it's too soon to start bowling again. but at least my parents' and my other injuries have more or less healed (just scars remain).

thankfully, my keyboard-typing skills were not affected, although it was a week before i could type without whatever minimal pain i had in my metacarpals (wrist pain not included, although i only felt it every half-hour or so since i wasn't moving it much). which means i had to get my ass back to work on the third day, 'cos my injury was too minor to warrant more than a day of MC.

ah, the accident. all i will say is that it dug up some major fears and evoked a lot of questioning and further soul-searching.