|
|
|
read between the lines
'tis the season okaylah m-r, you asked for it. here's a proper post (or at least an attempt of one), and i shall trash my last one because admittedly it was more of a space-filler than something worth reading.first, some appetisers, since it's taking quite a while tonight for me to loosen up... dish 1. o holy night is probably my favourite christmas song..love the melody. i especially like kevin max's version of it...sadly his album is out of stock this christmas. dish 2. night at the museum is actually funny! at first when it started out so slow and really...not funny, i was beginning to regret pulling my fellow brother along and wasting his money for it. but once ben stiller started his night job at the museum, even the script started to come to life (not just the artefacts) in terms of well-written jokes. dish 3. i think this (see below) at tangs rocks, though i must admit i can't really relate to the verse right now, though it did hold tremendous weightage at a significant point in my life.  and now for the main course. christmas. (okay, so technically it ended after midnight but i always count it as the same day as long as dawn hasn't arrived.) i feel that every year, if one bothers to listen, god has a specific message intended for each person, a message of personal meaning and relevance. come to think of it, god has a message all the time. and he sure does have one at christmas too...which i will take the liberty of sharing here. at first all i could sense during christmas was the (if not) obvious fact that it is a time when god dispenses great joy into the world, joy to tired hearts and bowed heads. and displaced people with some semblance of godly conscience within them. and, for certain reasons, i just did not feel that barrage of joy that god brought into the world this christmas. in fact i half-heartedly had it in my mind to hide away this christmas (a fight-or-flight instinct that has become pointedly familiar to me as of late in times of crisis) but i'm glad i didn't, because if i did i would not have got to see what i got to see and hear what i got to hear (though on the latter, i think if it was imperative that i hear it i would have gotten the message elsewhere anyway, though not in that fashion). so what got through to me was this: that in this season of giving, christ is the most generous giver of all. not only that, He Himself is the gift as much as the giver, having given up his life and his rights for us by atoning for our sins on the cross. okay, so i wasn't exactly tickled pink when i heard the words "christmas is the season of giving" coming out of my pastor's mouth, as i feel kind of uneasy with the fact that giving is associated with christmas, because it brings to mind expectant, selfish gift-givers who do not know a gift that comes for free and the joy that comes with it: salvation. what really struck me was when the pastor mentioned how christ, as a giver, gives without expecting anything in return. yeah, sure, so we all (just the christians) say it, some of us since our sunday school days, that christ's love (or salvation, joy or anything else) is unconditional, so much so that it becomes a catchphrase that has lost its meaning in our hearts. but, when put into perspective, if christ gives freely without expecting anything in return, then there is no need to feel like we are wretched, pathetic a**h***s who don't deserve what He gives us, as if we need to do something or acquire some kind of high-up status to be deserving of His love, grace, blessings, etc. i'm not saying it's wrong to feel humble or be humbled, but there is a line where all of us, at some point in our lives (some of us more than the rest), cross from broken pride to severe (though not necessarily total) hatred of ourselves in comparison to the sinless and perfect christ our lord. it kind of reminds me of me this christmas, when so many friends, both new and old, have lavished me with surprise gifts (i'm so used to getting -- and giving -- none or not much that it feels kinda weird to get so many), and i tell them i feel pretty bad because i got them nothing or got them things that really pale in comparison to their gifts. and then they tell me, assuredly, that they don't expect me to try to equal their gifts with something just as great, and that all they want is to see the look of joy on my face (i.e. make me happy) when i open or receive their presents. and that's the same with christ i guess. to feel like shit for receiving his gifts of love, grace and so on would be the opposite reaction of what he wants us to feel, for i am sure he never intended for us to feel that way. my closing statement... yawn. and now it is time to pack for an annual camp that i always attend (sorry , but i'll be awol for a week; not that it'd make much of a difference anyway considering my average post now is once a week). speaking of which, i am so going to be screwed tomorrow considering most of the stuff i need to pack is in my place in sg. and i have some errands to run, so i'll really be pressed for time tomorrow. and i didn't pack today because...i fell asleep (sheepish look). blame the weather for it, heh. p.s.... i know, i know, some of you have been reminding me to write more, but more pressing things have come up. meanwhile, chew on these: i decided to go for the camp because i need the time that it gives me with god. nevermind the fact that there are a number of faces i don't feel comfortable seeing, but the time and the undeniable presence of the lord is a huge pull factor. plus the fact that i get to sleep under the stars some nights, provided it doesn't rain, hehe. speaking of not raining, i am thankful that i managed to experience a very rare but very spiritually rewarding night walk around singapore until the crack of dawn. kind of like a solo mini-expedition. i'll elaborate if i have time. adios. |
|
|
.jpg){kind=link}