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read between the lines
i read the whole bible, sorta i finished reading the (modern) bible aka. rob lacey's word on the street. whoopee. yippee. yay. except that i really began to understand what mouse, who loaned me this book, meant about the bible being difficult to read because it was difficult to follow.especially today. imagine reading 1 john 2:9-11 (familiar to anyone who has ever heard tait say it 'live' on dc talk's welcome to the freak show) while your brother is being a real pain in the ass. and he wasn't the only family member driving me up the wall. the past few days have been difficult in that sense. staying home due to a toenail injury (inadvertently caused by my father, which i did not blame him for) with nowhere to really sit up and rest except the living room really turned up the friction level between my family and i. the only new thing (not something i'd never heard of before but something new enough for me not to tune out) i heard from god this week was that i need to get over my victim mentality in order to be the victor in circumstances like these. but i don't know how yet, though like always, i will leave my trust with god for the resolution to this. back to finishing the book, which is quite a feat in itself, considering my deteriorating track record in recent years. mouse went out on a ledge by loaning me this book on his own accord, last november. (yes, this pace is considered miraculous -- haha that's how low i've sunken, from my average of three books a day back in high school.) he decided to lend it to me after hearing my miserable tale of several failed attempts through the years to read the (actual) bible from cover to cover and never being able to get past Genesis. and now i will finally be able to say i have...with the concise, updated version of the bible anyway. speaking of which, another challenge to finishing this book was the struggle between finishing it for the sake of accomplishment and finishing it for the sake of gaining knowledge in order to apply it. somehow or other i managed to get myself on the latter side of thinking for the most part. i can honestly say though, that i most looked forward to reading Revelation. it was always a fuzzy book to read because the imagery used brought up a lot of unanswered questions i could never quite resolve or let go of, so in that sense it was the only book in the bible that felt relatively new (i.e. an anticipated read) to me in the sense that i had not read nor understood it as often. rob lacey's translation definitely cleared up a bit of the fog in my head. as for word on the street sparking further and greater interest in the actual bible -- which was one of mouse's reasons for lending -- er...not to a great extent. but it really helped provide a lot of background to the actual bible, such as where some countries used to be (e.g. babylon in rome), when each book (or scroll, as rob more appropriately uses) was written and the chronology of events in each scroll. the latter was particularly useful because one of the things that tripped me up often in my bible reading was why i found myself reading something in a paragraph that i thought already happened a few paragraphs back. and reading poetic stuff like rob's is timely after reading an article on polarbear who was recently in the region to perform poetry slams (a rare occurrence here), including a more famous one of his titled jessica. uncanny, haha. hmmph it occurred to me that i just paid for someone to assure and comfort me.my father accidentally banged into my big toe and it went all purple, and when i rubbed it from top to bottom, it started bleeding and the nail got all flimsy and i freaked out. called my mom, and for the second time this week, she let me down again. "aiyah, don't waste money calling all the way here. stop bothering me about it. your toenail is not going to drop off." (repeat loop) in moments like these, i am start to remember why i go to my friends every time something bad happens. i mean firstly, for me to call you from out of town means you matter enough for me to do that, and secondly, i didn't call just to hear your matter-of-fact tone of annoyance. so in the end i went to the doctor and he gave me the assurance and comfort i needed. the word 'hypochondriac' comes to mind. so you see, this is not just about the toe. this is about expectations.
put the past away this song came drifting into my head tonight. a budding teen rocker belted it out on american idol this week (surprisingly the judges gave him a "no"), and jim carrey sang it that popular dwarf actor's character who was about to jump, so that helped refresh my memory too. gosh, that was one of the memorable moments on yes man, especially the part where everyone below started joining in.Jumper by THIRD EYE BLIND I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in And if you do not want to see me again I would understand, I would understand The angry boy, a bit too insane Icing over a secret pain You know you don't belong You're the first to fight, you're way too loud You're the flash of light on a burial shroud I know something's wrong Well everyone I know has got a reason To say, "Put the past away" I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in And if you do not want to see me again I would understand, I would understand We'll he's on the table and he's gone to code And I do not think anyone knows What they are doing here And your friends have left too, you've been dismissed I never thought it would come to this And I, I want you to know Everyone's got to face down the demons Maybe today, you can put the past away I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in And if you do not want to see me again I would understand, I would understand I would understand I would understand I would understand Can you put the past away? (I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend) I would understand (I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend) I would understand (I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend) And I would understand (I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend) I would understand (I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend) And I would understand |
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