Recording my journey of trying to make it through life and find God, joy, purpose and meaning along the way...basically in search of eternal life here on earth.

LINKS THAT NO LONGER INTEREST ME
!HERO [the gospel in rock]
parousia
jon foreman
switchfoot
duran duran
kevinmax
the O.C.
jason LO

I WROTE THIS
pseudo-memoir


Background from dctalkunite.com


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read between the lines

Thursday, October 11, 2012

there's a way out

after days of simmering tension and intermittent arguing, my mother had just officially declared her refusal to support my artistic work in any way whatsoever. i had somehow incorporated it into a project at school, and although it was clear from the beginning that neither my mom nor my father believed in its potential, they'd left their options open in terms of at least supporting me financially. until tonight, that is.

i'd gone to my rooms, feeling upset, when radiohead's go slowly came into my mind. this laptop was in the room, hibernating, so i flipped up the screen and played it. my ears immediately perked up when i heard the "there's a way out" refrain.
"Oh Maria,
Come slowly,
Come slowly to me;
I've been waiting,
Patient-
Patiently..."
i flipped open bible nearby. the sentence "God puts people right through their faith in Jesus Christ" (Romans 3:22) on the left page caught my eye.
"I didn't get it,
But now I can see;
 
i'd saw the heading on the right, "God's Promise Is Received Through Faith" in romans 4 and continued reading from there.
That there's a way out;
That there's a way out;
That there's a way out;
That there's a way out;
That there's a way out..."

and there i sat, silent tears spilled over a song in a way i previously never thought about at all. (obviously this was written for some person called maria, but just like poetry, songs do tend to take a life and a meaning of their own as they become interpreted and appropriated differently by each person.)

this was what made my eyes well up:
13When God promised Abraham and his descendents that the world would belong to him, he did so, not because Abraham obeyed the Law, but because he believed... 18Abraham believed and hoped, even when there was no reason for hoping, and so became "the father of many nations."... 19He was then almost one hundred years old; but his faith did not weaken when he thought of his body, which was already practically dead, or of the fact that Sarah could not have children." 
Romans 4:13-19
this part made me cry too because it reminded me of my dog and how i still don't know if he still exists or not: "...the God who brings the dead to life and whose command brings into being what did not exist." (Romans 4:17)

tonight's ODB (previous day but as usual i never call it the next day as long as i haven't slept) was also fitting.

thank god He's still rooting for me and this project: there's a way out and He'll provide it.