|
|
|
read between the lines
parents are shit if they had an Anger Factor as a spin-off from Fear Factor, one of the challenges they could get the participants to do is to spend a day in with my parents. that'd be really tough to beat, i'm sure. construction was a mistake right from the start. up till today i haven't heard of anybody renovating their four walls with people still living inside.it's just provoking to come back home everyday and see all your items coated with a fresh coat of dust and rubble. and having hitler for a mother doesn't help either. what NO means under the dictatorship style NO don't ask why, it just is NO, it's non-negotiable it's NO because we say so NO, we don't want to hear your side of the story one would imagine that this conservative approach would be fit to be applied to a 5 year old, but not to someone 4 times that age. and they expect me to be like this stupid robotic goodie two-shoes and be happy being restricted, constrained and kept up in a box like that. but then again, i know the reason they treat me this way is 'cos they think i'm still five. seriously, they have this really misrepresented image of me. they think i am this stupid, blur, gullible little girl who can't tell right from wrong and can easily get swayed by the ways of this world. and this is not just speculation on my part, 'cos i've heard it said to my face so many times (but not in one complete sentence like this). and everytime i try to tell them i'm not, they don't believe me. i suggested in a polite way today whether my mother would let me stay in a student hostel for one week (amounting to S$60). her response? scream, shout, yell as if i had suggested committing the unpardonable sin. ranting away about how S$60 = RM150 and what not. walking away is probably the best thing i ever did. i mean, hello,it costs RM150 a night at a hotel and i don't see why 1 week isn't a steal, especially since today you just kicked me out of my brother's room which i've been sleeping in and there's barely space to sleep in the master bedroom with everyone crammed inside (ugh). and that's not the only incident today. i was really amazed i didn't blow up like i usually do. not that i didn't feel like doing so, because i was exhaling through my mouth like so many times tonight...and surprisingly i think that actually works. that and the grace of god, the enabling spirit He has given me to just tahan my parents and defuse the anger. but it's amazing how cold, laconic and uncaring they can be at times. i mean, some of the things they do really have me wondering if they know how to do parenting or not. how can parents do this kind of thing? is the most fundamental question i ask myself. it just gets better and better every day. i think some of my dad's sarcasm has rubbed off on me. but he's way worse than this cos his remarks sting like hell. conflict with my parents again has got me thinking if i should just work for the sake of getting away from them or not, or if it's even possible that i don't have to stay with them if i further my studies in uni. |
|
|
.jpg){kind=link}