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read between the lines
happy Susan (reluctantly): "I want you to be happy...and I really want Edie to be happy too,..."the above conversation took place when susan was speaking to her ex-husband karl after she just accidentally rammed down his girlfriend (and her competitive, across-the-street neighbour) edie with her car after karl accused her of being jealous, which she had just refuted. lately, i feel like susan too (in the above situation) sometimes. on and off. especially when you see a growing number of people getting "happy" and leaving you behind in the sandpit with your dark cloud still hanging over your head. it's not that you're jealous, but, like susan, you always thought that you'd be comfortably "happy" first before you got to see other people getting "happy" too. and of course it can be a little upsetting when you look around and it seems like you're the only one left who doesn't know how to fly when everyone else who was with you left the nest. unfortunately, life isn't a bed of roses and suffering is only part of our daily lives, as long as we choose to take up the cross and follow christ. his glory sometimes seems light years away, 'cause heaven and eternity seems like such a faraway concept that it's kinda hard for a finite, human mind to grasp, but eventually you get the point. eventually. either that or you wait for the next reward or "break" god's going to give you. which doesn't seem to be just round the corner. either that or the corner's like 50 million blocks away. okay, so i'm not exactly depressed now (thank god) but i'm definitely not happy either. and i hate the fact that so many things are unresolved, so much so that i don't even know what's going on or where i stand or what i even want. |
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