Friday, June 17, 2011

taking back peace of mind

if you've been following my entries, work has...gotten more challenging over the past year or so. anyway, long story short, this is semi-reluctantly my final month with my longest-serving company. i say semi because the decision to terminate our partnership came from both sides. at first i couldn't fully understand why i was strangely calm and accepting of the whole thing, but then nick nilson's sermon last month on forgiveness explained it all...i was being the better man without knowing it. 

i came across an interesting end to last month's ODB booklet -- george macdonald's answer to why we pray, paraphrased as the following: "to supply our greatest need – our need of Himself.” food for thought indeed...reminds me of a distant discussion a once-close friend of mine and i had on the point of prayer and its generic answer of petition ("if god already knows what we'll ask of him before we do, then what's the point?") as well as the point/power of corporate versus single-person prayer ("what's the deal with people placing so much importance on united prayer, if one-man praying isn't any less powerful?"). we never managed to settle on a satisfactory answer, but george macdonald's one could've been the clincher. his answer also helped to clear the cobwebs in my mind away as to wondering what it is that i need of Him the most daily (love? security? assurance?). 

someone who exited my life last month inadvertently left me a parting gift: a welcome introduction to taking back sunday. i initially checked them out because said person was a huge fan of them, and they certainly didn't disappoint. after random album plays on grooveshark, i found that songs from a certain album were very easy on the ears for me, so i decided to put that album, new again, on a loop: thus, my love (and subsequent proclamation and sharing of its music) for this relatively-unknown-in-these-parts band was born. 

catholic knees was a nice surprise for me, having never heard a rock song about catholics praying before (it has a catchy tune too). money where my mouth is and winter passing were natural favourites, while cut me up jenny won me over with its dissonant-chord based chorus -- i'm not sure what the importance of jenny signifies nor who she is in the last two tunes, but i'd sure like to know [note: i later found out online that jenny is a fictional character, more so a representation]. i took an immediate liking to new again (the song) and it's been my life's anthem for the moment ever since -- how can it not, with lyrics like "i am, i am; i'm ready to be new again; i'm ready to hear You say who i am is quite enough (quite enough)"? and carpathia's refrain was cathartic when sung: "when oh when will this sinking feeling feel like man, that was ages ago?" 

that said, i loved the band's music as a whole, although i could actually hear the singing improve through the albums [note: i was rather surprised to discover later on that the band considers this their worst constructively-created album]. i also liked the various references they made to local surroundings (for example, i learnt who the tiberwolves are and that apartment complexes are the norm in new jersey). not to mention that adam has a distinctive growl in his singing, haha. they were my fuel for work for may and this month. 

another thing that's unexpectedly piqued my interest lately is the (re)discovery of devon bostick! i mean, sure, i thought he was a little cute in the first diary of a wimpy kid, but since this second installment focused more on him (it isn't called rodrick rules for nothing), i had more shots of his character rodrick and had it highlighted (excuse the pun) to me that devon looks really good in eyeliner and mascara (even though there are hardly any photos of him online with eye makeup on). and everyone laughs at the part of the movie where rodrick gets sloppily out -- hips swinging -- of the van he's driving, flinging the seatbelt carelessly (before it has time to recoil) back into the vehicle. his parodied music video of katy perry's firework won me over, what with close-ups of those brown eyes and that clear skin (just saying!). 

a sudden interest in karaoke has also been bring cheer into my life (ironically, i find that jb karaoke outlets are not only cheaper, but also provide better service i.e. don't have waiters that keep blatantly looking at you sing everytime they walk by or accidentally kick you out before your hour is up, and better english-language song selections compared to their counterparts across the causeway).