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read between the lines
the future first week of this new year, i went to see a friend i hadn't seen for five years. and, short as our conversation was, it blew me away. changed my set perspective on where i'd planned to be heading this year, what i had expected to come from it and why i was planning to head in the direction i was going to head in. suddenly, i wasn't so sure of my plans.it fuelled further discussion on this topic with the friend i next met (also someone i hadn't seen for a while), who shared a very interesting experience on how god landed my friend a first job. to sum it all up in one question: what's in my future for this year? is what i want in line with what god wants? what does God want? at first i thought He wants me to help others, but after subsequent ponderings i realised...He wants me to know Him more. if i go the direction i plan to go in this year, will it really lead to what i want, which is a better life, which is to be happy, to be accepted? should i look at other options as a fallback in case i fail to make headway in my intended direction? is happiness/contentment possible now, just by looking at things from a grateful perspective? is my definition of greatness/a life worth living even correct? what exactly do i want right now in life? anyway, my take-home exercise before we (first friend and i) parted was to...think of 5 things to be grateful for every day. not a static list where i pin up and look at ('cos that's as boring and as dry as the identity in christ booklets i used to look at, in my opinion), but a rolling list -- one that changes every day. that and the words i ended up saying the week after during a follow-up call with said friend gave me the obvious answer to the last question: i want a father figure (and obviously a good model of one). and knowing God more will give me just that. |
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