Wednesday, December 31, 2025

a belated update to yet another stressful year

note: i'm setting the date to 31 dec even though i'm only starting this on 9 jan 2026. my goodness...my life just keeps getting worse and worse, in many ways. yet at the same time, i'm seeing a lotta good too. so i struggle, with what to...write on here. how do i not-put myself down when future-me reads this? i've been asking for grace to write this, and...we'll see that grace spill out onto these (online) pages. here we go!

after wondering how to best retell...such catastrophic and disappointing shit of the past year, i've decided to point out the 2 main...stressors, which have been further exacerbated by my still-lifelong-so-far-and-counting stressor that is my mother. my god, my god. i know you never forsook me. but when, jesus, when? abba, you said "who the Son sets free is free indeed". but i am still waiting..........ugh.

anyway. suffice to say, out of these 2 main stressors, i'll try not to mention it all. because so far, when i've retold the story to others, it has taken hours and days to retell. and i get temporarily mentally exhausted from it all. another thing i realized i'd do after retelling these 2 main stressors. the 'grace' part is this: i'm going to list down the 'things to still be thankful for' that came outta these 2 main stressors. (i'll also call them mistakes too...because they friggin' are.)

stressor/ mistake no. 1
living with a ghost above my apartment until 27 july.

yup, you heard that right. this has never happened to me before, and for every previous move-in, i have always ensured that i recce-d the place before renting it. it's just that, for this case, i had to wait because there was already a previous tenant squatting there and my mother kept saying "you never listen to me!" as a sorta threat to get me to stay at eric's purchased-here-before-he-moved-overseas apartment.

to clarify. i did look it up online. water hammer. concrete expanding and contracting. all sortsa..."logical" explanations. those reasons soon became moot, because i realized that the noise-maker was always responsive to my noise-making retaliatory actions (more on that below). and so, for the longest time (specifically 9 june 2025), i really thought it was down to a neighbour who hardly ever sleeps and is always indoors like me. like maybe a housewife.

i mean, it got so bad that security and building management knew my face and name by heart. due to a manpower shortage, they weren't able to station themselves outside or above my apartment during the initially-like-clockwork timings. so i took it upon myself to walk outside and try to find the culprit. except i never could see anything. sometimes i heard the same sounds. but when i approached the area...nothing.

by the way, it had long been established that no one stays in the apartment above mine, although it was occasionally let out to guests (they call it 'homestay' here but elsewhere calls it 'vacation rentals').  and building management's chief was the first to suggest to me that the place above might be haunted. to a skeptic like me, i was pretty dismissive of the fact.

in fact, i was so dismissive that this got me in temporary trouble, because it made me do something i would never otherwise have done. will mention that later in mistake 1b. 

so back to me still thinking it was a neighbour. obviously, there was no neighbour directly above me. so i initially kept thinking it was a neighbour on the floors directly above my floor. security and building management soon told me that from their experience (with temporary complaints from other residents – i was told mine was the longest unresolved complaint ever, with a motherfucking ghost attached to it in the end, and a very childish one toward me, at that), the noise doesn't travel that far down. 

i did climb up the staircase, which just so happened to be in front of my apartment, back when at-least the door-slamming used to occur around 5am every weekday. but all i ever heard was the door-slamming. i never got to see who slammed it, never consistently saw lights on at the time.

so after i eliminated it being all also-corner-lot residents above my head. i then wondered if it was the neighbours above-and-beside me. it certainly wasn't on my floor. because next door was also a 'homestay', but i would always know if people were in. the sounds were different. 

the only time i mixed up the ghost sounds with a bona fide human upstairs was when the house cleaner entered maybe once or twice on a weekday at close to noon. she would always leave the door open and her mop, bucket, and cleaning supplies just-outside the door upstairs, though. i never spoke to her but maybe she could also sense that motherfucking ghost's presence as well, when she came over to clean things. 

it turns out that that ghost likes to mimic sounds too. but it has mostly mimicked non-human sounds, although i have occasionally heard what i thought were humans speaking in mandarin, above my head. yet i would climb upstairs and find the doors padlocked from the outside and the lights off.

and it just so happened that every other resident along my level was never in 24/7, from beside me right until the set of lifts and the trash-discarding-into room (which i knew were outta earshot, coz i've never heard the sound of lifts moving or ppl throwing trash or ppl exiting or entering lifts from my corner-lot apartment, or should i say eric's purchased-over-here one).

so, for the looongest time, i kept thinking it was the housewife living directly above-and-next-to my corner lot. i never knew until toward-the-end that she wasn't actually a housewife but also went out to work...and that sometimes, both her and her teenage son weren't even in at all. (the guards showed me videos of this, and frequently enough too.)

back to 9 june 2025. up until then, the noise just kept getting more frequent in timing instead of only 5am's door-slamming on weekday nights. i would hear persistent knocking-and-hammering nightly at 8.30pm, then 9.30pm, then 10.30pm, then whenever the hell it felt like making that noise (because it had gotten to the point where i would always climb upstairs to try to catch the culprit in action...by which point, the noise would cease).

although i did start renting the place last year and hearing upstairs' noises (like a bouncing of a ball) almost immediately, it would stop (in response) when i would fling up my own rubber stress ball, which i just happened to get as-a-freebie because i'd overspent a lot on the only christian gift store (there used to be a christian book store there too in my teens, but others told me the islamic authorities chased it away) at city square on my hit-and-run's anniversary. the stress ball had the words 'jesus loves you' btw, and so i'd often leave it somewhere i could see it, to remind myself.

and...strangely enough (i mean it was strange at the time, but of course after knowing it's been a ghost the entire time, it ain't strange to me by now), there was total, complete silence around the week of christmas up until the first few days of 2025. i was also filled with..."joy unspeakable" like the bible said. and the silence was so...peaceful, that i was starting to think that maybe i had become desensitised to hearing upstairs' noises or maybe i was imagining that it was really that bad all along. and then that motherfucker upstairs started making noise again, gradually and more loudly.

a stressful example was on resurrection sunday (20 april 2025). i was low on sleep (no surprise, after being kept up by that unseen noise-maker) that i decided to sleep before new crea's final sun svc livestream started. unfortch, i was awoken to persistent, deafening (until it awoke and scared the crap outta me) hamering-and-knocking for 15 minutes straight, around 7.30pm that night. it totally fucked up the rest of my mood and night, because i remained in a state of fear. (more about that 'fear' thing egging on that fucker later.)

added this part days later (16 jan 2026) when i remembered. other edits i made on this date will be italicised and coloured in pink. another stressful example was the month before, when i was peacefully asleep until repeated knocking and banging woke me up in daylit morning. flinging the stress ball onto the ceiling didn't help like it used to.

so i grabbed my marks&spencer moisturiser tube (that i'd recently gotten) and flung that up onto the ceiling instead. the tube cover broke in half (and i had to later purchase glue for it, which only helped piece back the half but never got the tube to snap back shut ever again).

i yelled and i yelled back...and nearly fell when i had to stand on a nearby table to fling up the tube cover nearer to the ceiling, before the noise finally stopped. 

after that incident, i was often yelling out the window in swearwords to ask that fucker upstairs to stop making noise...because it seemed to help. little did i know (till much later) that it was the act of opening the window (and letting outside air in) that silenced that not-human-after-all noisemaker.

so from then onwards, it became a regular affair to me to start standing on top of sofa heads and banging back on the ceiling with the back of my broom-handle. (i broom-handled so much, my right arm [and scapula's easily-pulled muscle, as a relic from my hit-and-run,] started to ache.) because initially, the noise was only concentrated there. see indented text above. it was also above the bed area a month ago. but on 9 june 2025's afternoon, i heard some rustling goin' on upstairs.

coz these are the sounds that the childish fucker of a ghost upstairs likes to make*:

• the bouncing of what sounded like a basketball...and its bounce-back reverberations all over the surrounding surface area above my head
• knocking and hammering
• door-slamming 
• the infamous 'guli-marble' rolling (i've always heard about this since studying and living in sg, but i'd thought it was an urban myth...ironic that i had to experience this across the pond instead, for me to finally believe it wasn't just the "water hammer".)
• furniture-screeching (for the longest time, i thought this was "concrete contracting and expanding", like the above sound too.)
• the roller brush of a vacuum cleaner...imagine hearing that in the middle of the night, when the door is still padlocked from outside and all lights are off. i even went to the ground floor to identify that particular apartment, to try and see if there was someone human somehow hiding there nonetheless (because if there was, there'd at least be lights by the glass walls facing the outside). there wasn't.
• shovelling (especially coming from the bathroom, in the later months)...like the shovelling of earth to dig out a dead person's grave before they are buried.
• alternate versions (as in, as if on different surfaces) of the guli-marble rolling and the knocking and hammering
• rustling. like the rustling of papers and guli marbles mixed together. 

*repeatedly, mind you – the worst part was i'd be trying to focus on watching as many sunday service livestreams from new creation church that i could, and there'd be door-slamming goin' on every half-hour or so, or knocking-and-hammering goin' on for 1.5 hours straight, and so on. little did i know at the time that it was the most literal version of spiritual warfare goin' on, and the ghost really hating...it gets silent at the name of jesus, btw. 

and some worship songs, especially those that mention jesus (not all though...so maybe it also depended on the spirit/ intention of the song being written), or the 3-in-1 godhead, or...interestingly enough, jp speaking in tongues. i tried playing other ppl's videos to no effect. but when joseph prince speaks in tongues (and conveniently there was a new upload of his evergreen back-in-suntec hits of worship songs, followed by him speaking in tongues, and then songs again), it always silences upstairs' ghost. and then when jp's speaking in english again or pausing, the ghost will continue with the noise-making racket.

as i was saying, i heard rustling on 9 june 2025 when i opened 1 of the windows of the glass wall that faces the outside.

speaking of. i soon noticed, from looking upward, that the windows of the apartment above-and-next-to-mine always had all windows wide open. this had led me to falsely believe that some housewife was always in 24/7. but after this 'window' incident of mine, it soon made me realize that...maybe she knows that leaving the windows open, has some effect on silencing that noisy fucker. i tried looking this up online and found suggestions in my country (that worked) of ppl opening up entire roof tiles to 'let out' the evil spirit bugging someone's bought-from-others bungalow house for weeks. 

it's just that with my post-accident insipidus and me requiring air-conditioning almost as-the-norm, i can't open all windows. (not to mention, tiny cockroaches have occasionally flown in.) and so, after i'd fall asleep for an hour or two, the noisy fucker of a ghost upstairs would resume waking me up with knocking, banging and hammering that...taunted me so much that i still had nightmares for at least a month after moving out (which my mother blamed me on as "your mind making things up" even though that is another literal form of spiritual warfare...more on that later).

so i was so frustrated (and still thinking it was a human at the time), that i slammed the window back in anger and broke its handle. at that point (after alerting my parents, eric in nz, and building management's chief below), the chief finally made good on her promise to come upstairs. coz so far, she'd been sending out what she called 'broadcasts' i.e. mass whatsapp messages that implored the residents around me to stop making loud noises with examples included (i'd documented all sounds...it's just that the video was always of ceilings, instead of the face of the culprit itself). 

she had told me on the phone that she would come upstairs if the noise persisted but she hadn't, and this window-breaking thing finally got her, her staff and a guard over to my door. she then got the guard to (request permission and then) enter the apartment-next-to-mine and for him to video-call her while she and the other staff stood in my apartment, with her encouraging me to broom-handle the ceiling like i usually do. the guard said he couldn't hear a thing. 

(i would've preferred to enter upstairs myself, but i decided to take his word for it. because he had nothing to lose by telling the truth – in fact, he would free up guard resources if he had just declared that my broom-handling could be heard from that apartment so that i would stop bugging the guards nearly 24/7 too. but he said he really couldn't hear a thing from me. at that point, the chief ended her experiment, and...she once again politely but firmly told me that sometimes, i just had to believe it was a ghost. and that "you 'kena' 'tabah' [or you 'have to' 'persevere'] in malay, and other encouraging words and advice that i won't get into on here, coz it's a lot.

there was an 1 of the guards who had this problem too with his apartment in pandan...except he lived with his mother, so he was never alone, and therefore the experience wasn't as scary. same thing too...he told me he learned that the less fear he emoted, the less the 'guli-marble' ghost pestered him. my no-help mother told me off for being scared of nothing. i had to repeat several times that i have been awoken from deep sleep by that ghost, so it's not like i wasn't already peacefully asleep at the time!)

at that point in time, i still didn't believe it was really a ghost. it was my mother who convinced me when i called her later on the phone. and the worst fucking part? well 2 things, technically:

1. the minute that fucker knew that i knew it was a supernatural noisemaker, it ramped up the noise to occur almost 24/7. not only that, it was no longer confined to the sofa area. the noise followed me to the bedroom area, to the kitchen/ dining area, and to the freakin' bathroom, of all places. 
   
   i forgot it'd also happened in the bathroom shortly before i knew it was a ghost. the first time it occurred so persistently loud, i was so scared yet pissed off (because i thought it was a human deliberately doing it) that i grabbed the squeegee's back handle and started poking the ceiling repeatedly until the noise stopped. by which time, there were permanent dents on the part of the ceiling that was directly above the toilet bowl area.
   
   so all of a sudden, using the toilet was also stressful for me. bathing was stressful...even though the ghost made less persistent noise because i always take so long to bathe. brushing my teeth was stressful. eating was stressful. typing on my tablet or laptop was stressful. watching yt on tv was stressful. sleeping was stressful. you would think i would've moved out asap, right? (more on that later.)
   
   
2. later on, my mother backtracked and claimed i was making everything up, and that it was either other neighbours "somewhere" or really the "water hammer" or "concrete expanding and contracting". she blamed me for hearing things that weren't really there. i mean, what the actual fuck. i could go on with her exacerbating, exasperating attitude. but i could be describing for millennia and still not be done describing.

of course i wanted to move out asap. but my brother coaxed me to stay on, because he had plans to return soon, and if i moved out, it meant no one would be paying the rent and bills. why the fuck i (as someone who has not had the freedom from my mother to do my own thing, and has been unwittingly using up my out-out-court settlement's dwindling $) agreed to do that, when eric has been earning in nz dollars and can easily afford nearly 2 mths more of this shit, i will never know.

(more like, i know why the softy in me always does these things. and these fuckers take advantage of me, they always do. my mother is the no. 1 culprit. i still don't know how the fuck to permanently break free from her chokehold of apron strings, or at least create more breathing space between them. back to topic.)

side note: the reason i was so convinced it had to be a human was because the noise-maker was always responsive whenever i was...which was, almost all of the time (because i was getting increasingly frustrated at the disruption to my peace and found it almost impossible to not make-back some noise in anger). as in, if i made noise back (yelling, broom-handle or mop-handle or squeegie-handle tapping), i would always hear some kind of response in return (as in, whether a pause, or the same noise being made back). 

if it really was a "water hammer" or "concrete expanding and contracting" or something inanimate, the noise would just continue at a steady pace regardless of whatever i said or did...and there'd at least be some downtime, instead of occurring 24/7 (if no jesus-related intervention) towards the end.

in fact, during 1 of the final month's few nights in which i would only return for a night or two at the end*, and had already "cottoned on" (as oz, nz and the uk like to say) that it was a ghost, i was squatting down and painstakingly wet-wiping a tile on the floor at a time.

*and then return to my parents' to get some undisturbed sleep...but then awake to get disturbed by the yelling & scolding noise my mother made, which was really fucked up, because: i was forced to choose between either: do i want to endure noise made by my mother or the ghost?. 

in hindsight, i sometimes wish i had been willing to spend some $ at a cheap hotel just so i could at least sleep without noise (of the above) and just...merely put up with hotel guests' noises due to thin walls, for a change. idk. 

(because i had long discovered that it saved me more time in eric's box apartment to just use wet wipes to wipe the dusty tiles instead of mopping up the entire place and waiting for it to dry, and then still finding it dusty to-the-touch and repeating the whole procedure ad nauseum [or soon give up, like i did for one of my post-accdt rental apartments in sg].)

back to that 1 night (technically it was sunset) of me wet-wiping the tiles. this fucker of a ghost actually started dropping guli marbles directly above my head, and mimicking every movement i made from tile to tile as i was cleaning the floor. when i got up and walked away, the guli-marble rolling still followed me directly above my head (not even from a distance), as if someone was looking directly above me and mimicking my every move. once again, the noise-maker was responsive in temporarily pausing when i yelled at it to Stop in jesus' name(!).

i mean, there is no human (who's not astral projecting or remote-viewing) that can see directly through the ceiling above me and copy my movements by throwing imaginary guli-marbles above my head like that, according to which tile or direction i moved in. and yet, my mother seemed to think i was imagining all of this because she wasn't there in-person too.

and speaking of sunsets. i eventually realised that, as long as it's bright outside (not cloudy or raining or sun-setting or sun-rising) and all the curtains are open wide, that fucker of a ghost could not seem to make any noise. 

but the minute the sky started to get overcast, or if i even closed a quarter of a curtain (for the glass walls that faced the outside), that irritant noisemaker would go through its repertoire of the various sounds i've listed above (in bullet points), and increase in volume and frequency until it started getting so fucking deafening that i couldn't literally do anything in peace.

so in the end, i moved out the night of 27 july, with my mother scolding and yelling at me on the phone for leaving late, despite knowing full well that i've been spending over a consecutive week going over to pack, and then having to drive back and unpack some more, because there is no space in this house. in hindsight i should have moved out elsewhere instead of returning to this witch, because now i've lost even more money, and i'm still losing it because i'm still here.

as for stressor/ mistake no. 1b
making contact with the from-china 'homestay' resident next door to ask if he heard the same noise.

he did (hear the same noise), btw. this was in early may 2025. he also found it a cop-out of an answer when i said that management's chief put it down to a ghost living above my head.

my mother later claimed, in her backtracking, that management "want to get of you always pestering them, so of course they would tell you it's a ghost above your head!". the worst part was when eric and his wife returned in aug, went overnight to his apartment to stay there, and sent me the same knocking-and-hammering sounds that stressed me out so much for the rest of my night here-at-my-parents' again. his wife believed me but eric somehow thought it was the sound of strong wind knocking against the window...*smh*. 

at least eric admitted that he could be wrong, whereas my fucking bitch of a mother refused to not-backtrack after opening this whole can of worms, and continued to make my life worse after that. she still continues to. i can't wait to be free from her, but i just don't know how to. because i've tried moving out for the past 2.5 years, yet that witch has always followed me wherever i go. so now i'm poorer, she's still demanding $ (for petty things like dessert i don't need), and she's still— back to topic.

except the conversation didn't end there. i found out this was his first time in this country and that he'd arrived a day ago on his own, from thailand (i forgot where by now...i think he said bangkok). and that his english was pretty good for someone from china (even though it was heavily accented with the from-china accent) because he'd studied in australia (tasmania) for a while.

he also claimed he was a "digital nomad". (i had no idea [until later] that he was an even-more-deluded dreamer than i was, and that he was also relying on his dwindling savings. except he had easily picked up blue-collar work on-the-side, before. so he could always replenish his savings wherever he lived. and he was free from his mother – that is another key thing.)

so i agreed to drive him out to the mall the next morning, so he could stock up on groceries. i had no fucking clue he was going to take up 8.5 hrs of my time (despite me already running low on sleep and saying at the start that, in my post-accdt past, strangers have mentally exhausted my worse-post-accdt brainpower by taking hours and hours to talk, talk, talk).

it didn't end there, coz he kept whatsapping pretty often too, despite me taking my time to reply and already saying, once i saw him off at the door (next to mine), rather apologetically that i can only handle once-a-year sorta interactions (with this type of...'victim'-like leech). eventually, i had to tell him off again firmly (in writing on there) till he finally, surprisingly, stopped. (i was about ready to block him if he didn't, like i've had to for most of the rest.)

there's a lot i hated about the 8.5 hours, so i won't get into it, but 1 of the worst things i heard was this: the previous night, he said he was only staying for a week. but the next day after spending wayyyy too fucking long talking to me (he kept wanting to talk and switch places to talk*)—

*which reminds me a lot of a 70-yr-old from new crea who kept doing that until i literally became broke, had to use my emergency $ (because i obvs needed to spend on some kind of liquid to keep insipidue-me hydrated [coz i wasn't previously warned about her leeching onto me for that long]), and the-next-day at work got unfairly fired, incidentally also because of the (slightly more malevolent than eric's apartment's childish ghost, who merely made more noise when i said sth like "you cannot make that noise any more, you have to stop!") mischief of another guli-marble (and what sounded like the buddha statue floating around and knocking the walls of the partition across from me) ghost.

the 'best' part about that 70-year-old, who was boasting away the whole day-to-night about herself, including how god miraculously got her her last job? she didn't even bother to ask why i got fired, and told me that it had to do with my lack of (literal) dress sense. and she didn't even share any contacts nor offer any help in terms of getting a job, which i thought she would do. needless to say, i soon removed her from my contact list (and of course, i never agreed to meet up with her ever again).

got carried away. as i was saying. but the next day, the from-china guy suddenly said he wasn't sure about leaving this country any more because of me. i already pointed out, at that point, that i had no mental capacity to be meeting him regularly (and so literally exhaustingly long). but he still said he wanted to stay on. this stressed me out, knowing he still lived next door. i was rather thankful to hear (on written whatsapp) that other guests had already booked the place the following week, so he had moved...but had still moved to within-the-apartment-complex (just to a different block).

i stopped speaking to him before i knew the ghost was real (and before i knew i'd be moving out for sure, of course). i'll continue with the 2nd stressor after a "dinner" break (it's actually 2.33am on now-turned-10 jan 2026, in terms of the actual timestamp).

pre-cursor to stressor/ mistake no. 2
note: actually starting this 3.49am on what is now 10 jan 2026. 

before i begin, i want to point out (because eric's wife was the who pointed out why she and eric felt i should have taken up any job): i've only applied for 2 jobs in the whole of last year, during last month. and i only did so because my mother was driving me up the wall again. but even worse, she had to do it for a whole week leading up to the anniversary of my hit-and-run...which is already a sensitive date for me. 

(i might not be able to remember the accident, but i still remember what happened just before, as well as...well, i remember my personal freedom was further robbed from me since then until now. as in, even up till now, even though it's my own $, and my own life, and so on, that bitch still keeps trying to dictate to me how i be arranging the furniture for every place i've rented even though it's my own $ now. every big purchase i've made in these 2.5 years of attempting to break free from her, i've made the biggest mistake in always bringing her along, and she has made the entire decision-making process stressful.)

back to topic. that witch was insisting i pay for my car insurance all of a sudden...which she has already bought for me. like, how the fuck is that fair: i have to pay, but i don't get to choose what i pay for. i don't even remember how the process works, and it's all online now anyway, so i could've done it online on my own, without her interfering. instead, she started saying "you should know!" and bringing up instances from my pre-accident past about me purchasing jul's insurance, which i can't even remember doing, because i fucking lost my memory after the accident, you bitch!

ugh...sry. anyway, i asked my father to drop me off at larkin junction (how sad is that...my car is parked at a difficult-to-maneuvre place) so i could regain my sense of composure over coffee and a short read. (it was my first time finally trying 'kenangan coffee' for a change, and i honestly couldn't tell the difference in my salted caramel macchiato despite palm sugar being used instead of regular sugar.) 

i enjoyed reading just a tiny bit more of ali abdaal's 'feel-good productivity' before my father drove over to send me back home. i felt much better already and honestly thought i could finally end my night a lot more peacefully. 

instead, i got back to my mother yelling and making her god-awful expressions of disgust on her face before slamming the door, that made me burst into tears and eventually drive off in angry tears and shouts for hours (most of which were spent returning to medini, and wistfully wishing i was working and spending most of my waking hours escaping there [from this bitch who happens to be my mother] again). 

it was truly a miracle i didn't crash my car while struggling to maneuvre out between 2 vehicles and a lamppost beside it. and a miracle i'd ended up vlogging at the richer, quieter playground in my neighbourhood for an hour, before finally driving off to medini and back.

this was the day after my hit-and-run's anniversary. and what riled my mother up was that, because she refused to explain to me the details of the car insurance she paid for, i decided to look things up online, found an online platform-seller thing, and message the whatsapp on there because their email-details-to-me function wouldn't work without my sg whatsapp line. 

it just so happened that the insurance agent who answered me, was chatting to me on-and-off until the wee hours of the morning. (she used a.i. for some answers, but i asked very specific questions and found her on linkedin anyway after i asked for her name.) this "chatting with strangers" for "insurance you don't need for another year!" thing infuriated my mother. the stupid motherfucking bitch...if you won't tell me, then why scold me and make disgusting facial expressions when i find out from others, right?

ugh.......so anyway. the nightmare didn't end after i drove back (with my head full of that wistful-wishing i was back in medini goin' on). i mean, at least i slept well. but unfortch, the next morning, my parents forcefully made me buy stuff i didn't want with the 100 ringgit's worth of groceries that my mother kept nagging at me was going to expire hy this 2025!

tbeh, i was prepared to not-use the 100 ringgit because (a) i still have some of that settlement $ left, and (b) my parents erroneously thought that the allowance could only be used at a most stressful branch of a hypermarket here, that i've had bad experiences (all of them human noise-related) during the few times my parents have brought me there.

it's just that my mother nagged so much, i told her she could use the 100 ringgit for herself, since she's been scolding me for eating yucky food here and not paying for it, yet not letting me go out whenever i want, to get food i prefer. *smh*...back to topic. so i said i'd only go along, since my IC was needed to card-swipe the final purchase.

unfortch when i got there, my parents said i was wasting their time for the little i said i wanted to get...and then they fucking bulk-bought to oblivion those same things that i wasn't prepared to see so-much-at-a-time-of (not to mention, this hoarded-up house of my parents' here already has hardly any space that i really would've preferred not to add to the hoarded-up mess).

the absolute worst part of all was when the teenage cashier mistakenly gave back my IC and some change (because my stinge of a mother decided to go back in and get more unwanted-by-me bulk items when the amount totalle 94 ringgit with the rest being non-refundable) to my mother.

after this, my mother wanted tea so my parents decided to take a short 'teh tarik' break at the hypermarket's new-last-yr food court. they shared some 'naan' bread whereas i merely sipped my tea (coz i'd only had time to eat lunch and hadn't even gotten to drink). so much for "wasting their time"...as usual, of course they would have time to waste if it's spent on their terms....*literally smh*, back to topic.

the cashier later apologetically did a 🙏when i went back (after 'teh tarik' break ended) to (rather foolishly, coz i kept saying thanks and smiling and repeating) explain why i wasn't so happy about that last part. my mother of course forever thinks she is in the right. (in every argument, she always argues that she is right even when she knows she's wrong.) 

as my parents drove back, it rained heavily so those fuckers stayed in the mpv my brother bought them (which has thus caused my parents to have 1 less parking spot, and resulted in my car being permanently parked in a sun-scorched, difficult-to-maneuvre place under the lamppost ever since). my insipidus-prone bladder was calling coz my desmopressin melt was running outta efficacy, so i had to grab the house keys from the car and an umbrella to get myself outta the car and into the house.

that was the final straw in getting me involved in stressor/ mistake no. 2. which i'll continue after i make and drink my tea.