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read between the lines
zapped to reality is it jus me or has it got sth to do with spiritual warfare? i dunno....but here i go again, being very ignorant of sth again n having grave consequences in the process. do u noe how much damage u can do in 1 day? i failed my advertising module today....confirmedly. all becos i did one silly mistake...i thot the test was at a later time. n i did not even bother to double-check the time last nite....i jus trusted my short-sighted eyes since last wk. n then i come to sch today n find out that the exam is over n my ad teachers are showing me the "zero" sign with their fingers.oh teachers (esp the female one)...you'll love to see me next sem again....love to pick on me again like u seemed to do so at times this sem....ah well...my only "retort", a weak one at that, is that at least this time when u pick on me n ask me hard questions in class, i'll be able to answer all of them cos i've been thru the whole module before. ah well.... had a tough time initially today....struggling to....do something about my predicament....to save myself, so to speak...to resort to unscrupulous extreme measures to save my sorry ass....but in the end, i did the right thing. not of my own strength, but god's. i think the invisible bonds from the power of prayer were reaching out to me too strongly today....becos i admit i'm not always this honest.... so anyway, the ending of this story is that i fail my ad module. full stop. or is it a comma? i think so. i think i've heard it countless times today that god has a plan for me...that god has a reason (even if i don't) for this to happen....and i can think of many reasons....which one? i was reminded to dig deeper. well, i dug. and of cos i asked god. n so far i've come up with 2 answers... 2 answers to remind me that i'm not as well-equipped to handle calamities as i thot i was...well at least i thot i was beginning to learn to. so who's the Big Guy now? He tells me. were you ever in control of your life anyway? and anyway i realised (but did not integrate into my system) that the battle to submit and surrender ALL to god is there to fight everyday....because our human souls require purification and our minds require renewing every single day, due to our inner nature wanting to resurface again....was reminded verbally of that today, thanks..... a lot to learn, a lot to learn....call it what you will: a zap back to "reality" in god's eyes, a wake-up call, a test.....it's basically hinting that there is much to learn from the Most High. no wait...it's not even hinting, it's flashing brightly with a huge red warning sign that is only one short breath away from duh. |
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