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read between the lines
pain it's like this vicious cycle: pain. if ur not feeling it, someone u care about is, n that makes the pain spread to u since u share pain. how painful is that? i hate this agonising road...thank god i'm not feeling the "shared" pain too badly now becos of certain reasons, but still....how many times has my heart bled becos of someone else in pain....i mean it's bad enough if u've got pain of ur own, but when u've had some temporary relief, all it takes is to look for someone near u to be in pain n u've got the cycle running all over again.oh well...changing the subject, my fren smsed me yesterday bout the quake in indonesia. he was in sing n he felt the tremors at 12plus...interesting news i guess....i immediately turned on the tv n s'pore, being the efficient city that it is, was already showing this on the news. latest i heard just now, death toll was at 200+ ppl. when i heard bout it i thot it was a bad thing but kinda cool at the same time...to feel the tremors i mean. i never felt them, but i half-wished i had...but then again if i actually did, the quake wud've been worse for it to reach this far. n it actually got me thinking bout the end of the world. again. n as i flipped idly thru the pages of my bible i came across revelations n i started reading, just like that. this, coming from a person who fears death n has been trying to avoid certain books in the bible like revelations becos they remind her of bad or painful things. but then again, He is renewing my mind everyday. up till a few mths ago i cudn't even (mentally) look at blood on the cross. but now i confront it...and i block it out no longer. er, but that's not to say i still don't flinch at the sight of blood or operations or hospitals....[shudder] i think i better not remind myself. pain. pain pain pain. the christian life was never easy. but sometimes all u hope for is paradise. peace, no worries, no thinking about pain...and death. n i guess, not having to worry about the ppl u care about. "and god will wipe away the tears from their eyes...." christ is coming. the day is drawing nearer becos evil is intensifying. it will all come to an end...soon. but like god told me before, i don't have to wait till the end of the world to die. i could go anytime soon. nope, not dropping any hints here bout wanting to die....i'm jus saying life is fragile. n my thoughts are wandering. which is why my main point's not clear today. i'm feeling sleepy....aigh. topic change....(cos what can u do by dwelling on pain?)...songs currently stuck in my head: "ode to chin" by switchfoot and "paint the silence" by south. both for different reasons. the former, becos it's encouraging, the latter, cos it reminds me of good times...oklah n it reminds me of the episode in the O.C. from which this song came from. eheheh...but both songs are definitely good to listen to...catchy tunes in different genres. (btw listen to south on their website...it has a background player) "grow, grow where you are anchor your roots underneath; doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs." -ode to chin, by switchfoot (it was an ode to their great friend chin, whom they viewed as a very faithful christian...in fact their whole album is named after him n has baby pics of him...ahaha...yes i'm talking bout "legend of chin"). |
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