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read between the lines
the day after i feel at odds with myself. my mom tears up everytime she talks of the wake, cremation or kong kong's death. and yet for some reason the hardness of my heart will not permit me to comfort her or be nice to her when i see this extremely rare insight into the vulnerable side of her. she never lets me see her cry all these years. the last time i saw it she was wiping away tears from a fight with her mom years ago. deja vu.kong kong's final wake before his cremation is tomorrow morning. i don't know if i can allow myself to be there for my mom because she very rarely was. it's like a holocaust survivor trying to forgive her nazi torturer. wonder how corrie ten boom did it. okay now that's exaggerated. but it's along the same lines...sorta. |
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