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read between the lines
clear-headed realised that my condition of health is inconsistent throughout the day. one minute i'll be feeling like hell and one minute i'll be much better (of course, add many many hours in between those minutes la).today was the same. i'll admit my confidence in getting healed waned in the afternoon when i woke up cos i just felt like shit...it seems every day has a new addition to the already existing symptoms. first it was the sore throat, then the either-dripping-or-blocked nose. today it was the irritated-throat cough. and if anyone knows, i hate those types of coughs. i still grimace at the memory of my 6-week long coughing saga last year. that was really insane. today's cough, though not as teruk as that, was enough to bother me. my throat felt extremely dry even though i could feel a huge lump of phlegm lodged inside and almost every breath i drew in just irritated the throat and made me cough. and the headache was back with a vengeance. it was 3 hours to primetime (namely, the time i was due to get to church and play). and with me feeling like that, i decided to ask the band to pray for me. is that so bad of me to ask a group of like-minded christians to pray? does it signify a lack of faith in sticking it out alone? i don't really know. but what i do know is, when i woke up, i didn't feel so bad. coughing was sporadic. my nose wasn't even stuck or dripping. and that feeling of having a ton of bricks in my head for brains was gone. so i left with (renewed) confidence. i'm surprised today's playing turned out okay...and definitely glad i was able to focus on god again unlike last week. right now, to tell the truth, i'm feeling the best i ever had since this sickness started going downhill. previous nights i have always had my nose dripping while i sit here and blog but tonight i just feel fine! a total contrast from how i felt a few hours ago. the phlegm and the cough were getting to me. felt absolutely terrible the minute i got home after church. had trouble sleeping again. but i just woke up and came out from a bath, and i feel pretty good right now. i feel like a horse in high spirits. okay, enough of black beauty (it was on the telly last week). gone is my cough and my phlegm, though i can still feel it somewhere, isn't clumping in huge lumps to bother me. nose is totally clear and my nasal pasageway feels relatively dry and unclogged. wonder how i'm gonna turn out tomorrow. i wonder how's kong kong. my mom's not back yet so no news from her. sheesh...just thought of my mother again. aih....somehow i have a feeling i'm just not cut out for this. i think i just have to resign myself to the fact that i'm never gonna find what i want from her and maybe it'll help me deal with her type of character. |
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