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read between the lines
pek cek this post will mark an addition to the several thousands of other posts i find on the net that have the word "pek cek" aka. "heart pain" in crude english. can anyone die from pek cek, i wonder. tia kau ai si..and that's about all the teochew i can spew out to describe my condition. but it's not all like that, i'll admit. and this (quote below),"Be careful not to turn to evil; your suffering was sent to keep you from it."this is actually kinda true. according to a random blog online, most of the patients who end up in mental hospitals are scorpios. i think it's possible. on another note, my home pc finally got fixed up today, after being returned back and forth for 4 more times today. i have this "uncle" whom i like to call the pc guy, and he lives a few houses away. he's reformatted the home pc umpteen times already. the thing is, erm, he doesn't seem to do a complete job of getting the computer rebooted. it refused to start up 4 times today. said the damage done by the 17 trojan horses was real shit. i'll bet. he said our com was near crashing when we sent it to him. it's been a week plus since we sent it over. hopefully we'll take better care of it this time, heh. forgot to mention my dog (the temperamental one) bit me again on sunday, the very day i was supposed to play for main church. how the puncture wound did not turn out to be so deep that it disabled my finger from playing, i do not know. i still don't know if it was a figment of imagination, but i could've sworn i saw his whole body lifted up when i was trying to detach my thumb from his teeth. all i know is, i got two bite areas on my right thumb, one area deeper than the other (the first time i managed to snatch my hand away faster, see). he had a huge lob of eyeshit on his left eye and me being disgusted at having to use my finger, tried to use a twig to wipe it off. he thought i wanted to poke his eye. and so he bit. but ah well. as usual, he wears the same remorseful look after the damage has been done and i show him the bloodied wound angrily to his face. so i can't stay mad at him for long. but i can't just allow myself to get bitten always, though. i haven't really thought of a solution, so i don't know. but out of all the scars on my right hand, three are there thanks to him, and these three have been accumulated over a period of the last two years. looks like "once bitten, twice shy" fails to apply here, heh. anyway, it has more mobility today, the thumb, which i'm glad of, but i still have to do most things with one hand (or if i can manage, i use all the fingers on the other hand except the thumb), especially if they require me to wash my hands after doing them. so i take extra long to bathe (and i'm already taking long enough as it is) and other things. the thing about my thumb is, i am able to stretch it, or rest it on its side, but i can't bend it. that's the miracle. so i was able to play the piano for sunday service, type on this keyboard, sleep in peace, but not able to wash dishes properly, or touch the dog or use the latrine with both hands. oh, and another reason why i'm so perked up today is, i have an excuse for getting out of the house tomorrow. but i have to come back at an insanely early time, a time that's one hour earlier than my already insanely early curfew. so much for freedom. it's not even like i'm going out to do drugs or something...all i ask is for solitude. my mom still can't tell the difference between a ten-year-old and a...a young adult. but i really can't stand it being cooped up in here, so, pathetic as her offer is, i'll take it. meanwhile i'll try to concoct more ideas to get me out of the house... |
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