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read between the lines
of dog bites and diffusing anger i got bitten by my dog. again. for like, the 5th time in one year. guess i never learn... :p.but i'm still happy enough to show a smiley...because, it isn't that serious this time. compared to the last one in december, which was the worst i had ever seen in my life. so much blood i panicked like hell and went into state of mild shock for awhile. no, not this time. thank god. same foot as the last, but this time on the 2nd toe...mostly. skin torn off a bit there, and grazes on the rest of the foot, but other than that i'm fine. bathing was a difficulty though...so hard to avoid splashing water onto my toe. in the end i failed...sort of. i got the grazes wet..but the gauze dressing around my 2nd toe was dry. at least i didn't need a tetanus jab this time, since i had it the last. so that saved my parents some money, especially my mom, who was being so naggy (naturally) on the way to the doc's. but i don't know why, by the grace of god, i was surprisingly calm in my response to her. hey friend, i tried your tactic of speaking in a strangely calm, low tone of voice everytime my mom started to raise her voice and yell...and it actually works after awhile. i think it makes her feel silly...her shouting like a kid while i'm calm like an adult. hah. you're totally right...i shall try that again...if i have the patience to like i did today. my dad did his stupid sarcasm trick again but at one point i just kinda unintentionally told him off. i said what i said in my other post (minus the word "hell"): "i don't know what you're trying to achieve with your sarcastic remarks like that"...n the worst part is i said it when his fellow worker came over to pick him up..haha. mean person that i am. i didn't stop to hear further, cos he was outside and i was in the house. but that totally silenced the sarcasm for the rest of today. but still, anger-less as i was with my parents, the devil actually found means and ways to piss me off otherwise...and i wasn't even aware at first it was him. i won't say much, but a lot of swear words started popping into my head as i got angry at the things i did. most of it had to do with the stuff around the house and how it was even harder for me to walk safely through all the sharp edges and pieces jutting out, now that i was temporarily unable to walk properly. but even that was fleeting...i just did a lot of swearing in my head and a lot of blowing wind out through my mouth. i tried that trick (the former) just a few days ago, dunno how i picked it up, but it actually seems to work..seems to calm me down at least a little. now the real biggie was after my bath when i started thinking about...the slip-shot job a certain establishment i'm involved in is doing. cos the leader messaged me today about an errand and when i replied that i wanted a change of date, she didn't reply. as usual. i wasn't angry at the moment, which was much earlier in the day, post-lunch, but after my midnight bath it started to get to me. she didn't even pick up the phone when i called..several times. and then i started thinking of how it's always a norm with her and how we cannot get a lot of things done due to people in the establishment just plain not caring enough to carry things out. and i started to get pissed because it's a christian establishment and i always feel that if i'm doing something for the lord, or something related to his kingdom work, i should at least do a good job of it or i'm not glorifying god enough. oh well. that's just me. and then i started thinking about similar incidents and people in the past...and then when i felt my anger rising, that's when god let me know that these thoughts were not of my own. thank you lord, for diffusing my anger and making me aware of it. |
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