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read between the lines
re: birthday blogging it's amazing how god continues to amaze everytime. got my second job offer as i was about to sign the papers for the first. second job wanted to match or raise my pay for the first but i decided to stick with the first. and tonight i got a third job offer, albeit a part-time one. but, as the deadline's two days from now and i'm not exactly free, i decided not to play hero and ambitiously undertake to finish it, though the thought of extra money in twice my native currency was tempting. but then again i was never really a money-driven person. material things have never really been my motive for anything, at least after the point that i realised there was more to life than what we can see.i thought about it and decided it would be best not to edit and carry on from the drivel i originally posted up on my previous post, because for one thing, i will probably never sleep all night if i do and for another, i think the things that happened that day are best left for me and me alone to know in full. i can shed a bit of light on that day, though. that day was a significant day for me (it always is) not because i am narcissistic and i think i am the best g'damn creature ever created on the face of this earth, but because it marks the anniversary of the beginning of god's great work unfolding through what is better known as my life. the fact that i came out alive and well is a miracle in itself considering the billions of stillborn babies delivered every year. it seems pointless (and tiring) to say what i did on this year's significant day, but i will say i am glad there was a lot of 'god' time in it. and i was really really thankful that god provided me a quiet, uninterrupted, personless spot to spend the evening with him in what was probably the most populated place in that area, what with all the people studying, trying to study, or trying to try to study. there are other things that made my day (including the record number of well-wishes for which i am appreciative of) but overall, it was a good day. good because it was one of those rare days where i didn't have to deal with that little devil called the blues. the day also provided a good excuse and reminder to reflect on my life and how one year more has made a difference to it. i would say this year's recurring theme that god was trying to get through to me in my life was trust. trust and faith in uncertain futures. futures that seemed likely, by this world's standards, to hold no hope. but, as is his specialty, god overturned the situations and gave them a hope and a future as he so promised in his word from that familiar verse in jeremiah. i aged a lot in the past one year that i really didn't feel my age this year. i felt i had to be at least one year older. not to sound like a prick, but the baggage of this year that carried on from the last really took a toll on me, that's all i'll say. i was so disconnected that when one of the potential landlords (or landladies, if there is such a word) i met said she had a daughter my age, i didn't even realise that was my age until i spoke to her. but at least one good thing about my age is, people can more or less accurately tell my age. it used to be unintentionally insulting in the past when people always used to guess i was older than what i really was, because i had this 'old' (a more whitewashed word would be 'matured') look and it didn't help that zits decided to declare war on my face and bomb each other, thus resulting in craters and casualties (millions of dead skin cells). but enough about that. there. looks like a long post but it's actually quite short compared to what i could reeeeally write. |
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