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read between the lines
1st camp (malacca)  i knew everyone, more or less, at this camp. it was a privilege and an eye-opener to hang out with the younger crowd (comprising tweens) this time, compared to the older crowd (the age group directly below mine), because they exhibited genuine care and concern for one another, behind all the crazy pranks and disinterest in some parts of the sermons. unfortunately, most people don't view them in this perspective. usually the old would be taking care of the young, but in this case it was vice versa. generally, i don't say much when in group settings, because it's rare that i am actually comfortable with the presence of every person in the group to feel safe enough to express myself. but they, being young and not yet familiar with social cues, were more upfront about things and therefore had no qualms saying or asking 'uncomfortable' (as perceived by older people) questions or statements. this actually helped me to fit in, because it created an atmosphere devoid of the usual prejudice, awkwardness and underlying tension.fellowship aside, i also managed to do my own things too. this camp, i deliberately put my foot down when it came to playing the piano for worship too often (the last camp resulted in me having no free time because i was either playing or preparing for every session).  i paid for an entire apartment (living room, balcony, kitchenette, bedroom and bathroom), all to myself for three days, which is the largest space i've ever stayed in on my own, so needless to say, i was elated, despite the bad service (the place was a mess initially and housekeeping was late). it gave me the freedom to talk openly to god whenever i wanted without having to deal with curious onlookers. i also had fun taking shots of tourist spots in malacca -- the a'formosa fort and st. paul's church (both on the hill) as well as the maritime museum -- all of which i hadn't revisited since i was a child, plus a history museum. i also walked around two new shopping malls nearby (for cooling off). i usually like to explore new places alone so i need not feel hurried or be rushed along (the only exception was when i joined the younger ones for late night supper and window-shopping along jonker walk).
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