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read between the lines
the transforming agent  yawn...i know it's already the 22nd, but i still count it as the day before since it's still night (heh) and will adjust my fast accordingly. necf's nationwide 40-day fast-and-prayer has come up again and i will be taking part for the third consecutive time...what's special this year is our country turning the big 50.i'm about to sleep so i'm not going to espouse the merits of living in this country (which is kinda hypocritical, if you ask me); however, this i am indeed thankful of: that we are still a peaceful nation. okay, so there's all the bad press about my hometown's recent spate of thefts and rape cases, but at least we are not living in a state of pandemonium amidst bombings, air-raids and war rapes (i still shudder when i recall the graphic pictures of mutilated women from the rape of nanking -- you have been warned, don't ever read that book). and i pray that it will never be so, though some people here do say that the underlying racial tension here is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. but i trust in our god, and i trust in the prime minister He has put in place. he seems to genuinely care about the people's needs. okay aside from doing this for my country, i'm doing this for my own sake too. i have let too much of the enemy of sloth and idleness get into my life and fasting is badly required at this point and time. if anything, those are the things i desperately need prayer for. will resume posts after merdeka day. jessica (not seacrest), out.
harry potter and retailers of nonsense imagine this.you wake up, prepare to go down to the local big bookstore to be there by 7.01am for harry potter's final book and breakfast party (the first one held here), and then you find out that four bookstores (the retail chains of which, make up all the big-name bookstores in your hometown) are boycotting sales of the books and cancelling all potter-related events scheduled for today. *&#!@%.... they say it's in the name of honouring the pre-order buyers but isn't it more a case of money-making intentions? if the US could lower their prices nationwide, why can't we? grr. weeeee... i don't naturally like going to sleep.i think it is a waste of time. i think that kook of a guy said it best with his dymaxion sleep concept, which basically states that two hours of sleep a day is enough. although i wouldn't dare to try what he did every, single, day. but yeah i think i need help. my self-control is seriously lacking. and i know it. but i lack the self-control to enforce self-control right now. because i like it. god, if you're there (and you are), help me. re: thoughts that never go  why do i find it so easy to believe that the bible's words are true, yet find it so hard to believe that i am destined for greatness? -- "For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ."-- it was only during my friends' prayers over me that i realised the extent of my unbelief. incredulous best described how i felt as i heard words of blessings spoken over my life. could it be that someone would actually want to give me good things and genuinely want to make life work out for me, undeserving as i am? then only did i remember that grace, righteousness, favour and honour were gifts, provisions, bestowed qualities -- in other words, they were given and not earned. it's funny how i often forget that it's not how many rules i obey that gets me these things, but it's how much god loves me that does. i also tend to forget that god isn't like man and can therefore be trusted to keep his promises. but why in the first place are people getting raised from the dead and walking on water accepted as truth at face value, yet scepticism arises over god's assurance of abundant providence for every trial and tribulation that i face? thoughts that never go  if "a lifetime's not too long", then why do some friendships not last for even a fraction of a lifetime? -- "It's not so pleasant "Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus."-- i'm not here to mope; i've used up all my capacity for that already. but there are some honest (as in not biased towards anything in particular) questions about the human experience of life that will always remain at the back of my mind...and this is one of them. another concept i could never quite grasp was what the generally-accepted code of conduct is for public social behaviour. thankfully i've got jesus as my guide, hehe. three things the three last things pastor prince said before he dismissed us at the zone's planetshakers concert in s'pore on 15 june popped up in my mind again last night. really useful reminders in times of the slightest form of doubt (and i paraphrase):1) i sense there are many of you in the crowd who feel lonely though you might have come with your friends. as you go back alone, sitting in the mrt, remember that you are not alone because god will never leave you nor forsake you. he is always with you even though your friends aren't. 2) cultivate a friendship with jesus. talk to him in the mrt, or wherever you go, in your everyday life. 3) know that you are his beloved. that god loves you very much. though i wasn't feeling particularly depressed at the time, nor was i last night, these were comforting reassurances and reminders to hear. side note: the pastor's message on grace held more meaning for me that night in the light of recent events. and yeah, henry seeley and the band rocked the house as always.
re: i've found my groom i couldn't resist, hehe. here's a screenshot of him from the P!ATD mtv.
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