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read between the lines
love i can't sleep again.blame dido's no angel album for seducing me to stay. i was thinking about the meaning of life again last night, and what was a few minutes of actual initial boredom out of mental roadblocks opened up into a one-hour dialogue with god about what was really important in this life (and if i didn't have to bathe the talk would've continued until eternity). wow. so what is life for anyway, and is there any wrong in eating, drinking and being merry like king solomon in ecclesiastes said? there isn't, because after all He is the One who created pleasures anyway (i'm borrowing from screwtape letters now). so what are the highest pleasures of life, the ones that give you that high feeling that carries you through the thunderstorms and whatnot? i concluded that essentially the greatest joy is in loving, and being loved back. and god pointed out to me that he belongs in primary equation of this, too. at this point i can think of a ton of christian sceptics who want to point out too quickly that the term "love" as defined by that passage in corinthians is summed up as commitment and sacrifice, and is not a feeling. i used to think that way, that true love held no love...but then it occured to me at yesterday's point in time that if there's not even a hint of joy, pleasure and that indescribable high you get from loving someone human or canine and the knowledge that the feeling is mutual, then there is absolutely no way that one is going to go far in commitment and sacrifice. and it totally fits in with what paul said about there being no point to faith that can move mountains if he has not love in him. so with that in mind, i think love does have to have the above feeling, or else it'd be called hate. some might be quick to ask if i am mixing up infatuation with love. i don't know, because one would have to be infatuated with someone to some degree in order to commit and sacrifice for them, even more so god, looking at all the martyrs who sacrificed even their lives for his cause. and perhaps it has been this wrong perception of what agape is that has been maintaining this gulf between god and i. or maybe it's just me arriving at the wrong conclusion. |
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