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read between the lines
a better me it's yet another sleepless night again.i just finished reading through about a year's worth of old private entries from the pre-depression era. i was quite surprised to find such chirpy-sounding writings after being so used to the sad crap i write nowadays. i seemed so much better before. i mean, i had problems back then that did trouble me -- similar problems in some areas, even, but i was able to trust god and surrender easier than i can now. sigh. so have i gotten better or have i gotten worse? there are times i wish i never fell into depression, because it's so hard to recover the "quiet joy" (my words from way back) that was lost, even after the chronic depression phase has lifted. and this is one of those rare times. |
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