Wednesday, December 31, 2025

belated update: part 3

as for stressor/ mistake no. 2b 

• handing over copies of my personal documents (such as my IC) and personal information (such as past bosses' numbers) and 
• agreeing to what turned out to be the most invasive, overly comprehensive (yet crucial-mistake filled) medical checkup i've ever gone for in my life 
• before i've even seen the job's offer letter (or in this case, a lengthy contract), let alone formally agreed to accept the job i've been offered.

when i was 'in transit' (still travelling in sg), like i said, the HR girl asked me for all these copies of documents (or ex-bosses' phone numbers). i said i'd send them later at night when i got back. she then asked me to photograph my IC first and send it to her first, which i stupidly did (and in colour too...*smh*), so that she could book me a medical checkup for sunday.

i mean, at the time, i did truthfully write that i had never gone for a medical checkup before even seeing the offer letter. she then stated sth like how everything had to be done in a rush since i was expected to start work asap, so i complied.

(little did i know, that at the very fucking end, when the medical centre mistakenly withheld my 'medically fit to work letter' from her for a while, that she would write back and say she wasn't giving me the job contract without that letter. at the time i was thinking, what?!? i went through all this hell and counting for not even something written on-record to show for it?) 

so yeah. once again (like how my christmastime was ruined because of this company), i had to have my sunday (which i devote to church and when-possible, do not run errands or go out-for-other-things on) ruined as well by a medical checkup. at least the medical centre was at 2 new shoplots that were situated roughly 15 minutes' drive from my parents' place. i only had less than an hour's sleep because i needed time to calm down from friday's-unto-saturday's scolding.

---sigh. oh my god. 10.30am here (on 10 jan 2026) and it's been 15mins since i've heard drilling goin' on next door. which has been irritating to my ears, to say the least. i'm wondering if i should just bail rn. think i'll see how much longer i can last, and will try to soldier on.

nope, i can't. once again, this satan-caused sound of drilling sounds like my skull is being drilled into. i have so much left to cover, not to mention the things to give thanks for as well, that i might as well call it a night-turned-day. haven't even taken my communion and 'oil' yet. 🍷🍞🫗💤---

resuming this at 11.30pm on 10 jan 2026.

the first test i am asked to do, after entering the MD girl's office, and a female nurse closes the curtain (all employees are clearly younger than me, btw), is an ecg, in which i am told to expose my chest to them and remove my top. i wasn't even warned about this shit, and i've never had to do such a checkup before, ever in my life. i ask if this test can be avoided (no) and is it included in the 'basic package'* (yes.) 

*because when i arrived and detailed the extent of my accident's injuries, the staff started to recommend extra tests for me to go through. i agreed since i had been told beforehand that the company would be reimbursing me (even though i had to pay up first).

so since post-accdt me is...less averse to others seeing my naked body, i reluctantly complied and lay back down on the medical room's hard bed. 

it's a long story, but it was fucked-up how i was wheeled back from the operating theatre after my skin graft and stripped bottom-half naked, with all the patients coming up to stare at me. i had to insist on a curtain being drawn around my bed for any privacy. and that fucking witch beside my bed that is my mother, kept me up the whole fucking night by chit-chatting non-stop to a nosy patient next door to her, and then some elderly lady across the aisle that my mother was more concerned about.

to make matters worse, even though all the medical specialists (from 2 different hospitals) i spoke to, said i could take desmopressin just before surgery, that fucking bitch refused to let me. as a result, i had to keep wheeling my drip and walking my thin-skinned leg back and forth to the toilet because the operation was half a day behind schedule. and even more humiliating, the knee surgeon had told me i could wear diapers yet at the very fucking end, i had catheter stuffed up my vagina— back to topic.  

i was wondering why the nurse soon called the MD girl over. when i asked if anything was wrong, the MD girl said i had an "extra heartbeat" and that she'd advise me to wear some mobile "holter" device for 24hrs, sometime in the future. i merely nodded at the time, because i thought it was just "advice" i could ignore and not a compulsory thing. i also asked her if there were ppl with extra heartbeats who've led normal lives. she said most ppl do and aren't even aware of their extra heartbeats.

i later googled and it turns out, it's really nothing to be bothered about. because, among the causes for extra heartbeats were lack of sleep, stress, dehydration and lack of salt: all of which, i had at the time. and the 'holter' was actually a heart monitor made of a buncha electrodes to be stuck onto the skin for 24hrs. in this hardly-any-a-c sweltering weather and parents' house of mine? there's no way i'm gonna be sticking that shit to my chest (and for nothing) for an entire day-to-night-to-day.

*inhaled and exhaled.* i'll skip the whole range of tests i did and only mention in-passing the huffy radiologist, who again didn't care to tell me (till it was too late) that there was a curtain to draw in the radiology room and i should draw the curtains next time. (thereby implying she had seen me topless too, even though i had twice asked her what to change into, because i had obvs never seen the room before and therefore wasn't aware that the loosest, chest-baring gowns i've ever come across, were in a corner on top of a shelf.)

when it came time to pay up, just like christmas lunch at ikea, my PIN was rejected twice (tbh, the card terminal already said my PIN was rejected from the start) for both my credit cards (because the total was once again beyond 250 ringgit) while my other cards weren't accepted. so i had to call my mother...who was nearer to where eric's apartment was, but having breakfast at one of the shoplots in the neighbourhood.

i had to pass my tablet to the medical centre's supervisor (whom i heard in a room next to the f&b reception, but never saw – he sounded like the only older-than-me person in there) for my mother to speak to him and allow me to get my x-rays done first (cue huffy radiologist, which was located at a different shoplot a few doors down) before she finally came over to pay up...which would be in at least an hour's time, because her breakfast had literally only just arrived, so she needed time to eat up first.

the supervisor thankfully agreed, i got the last of my tests (not only chest, but also knee and calf x-rays) done, and...when my mother arrived, her PIN also initially got rejected. she had 1 more try (before the card terminal automatically locked her out) so she deliberately, purposefully slowly keyed it in...and it worked. so it turns out that, like ikea, it was all due to the shitty, laggy card terminal and nothing to do with my PIN being incorrect, after all.

after paying up, she and i asked for my medical report. 

because in sg for working-in-sg related applications, i just do a very basic chest x-ray, give urine samples, and then wait an hour at most before my standard results are out. i then pay up first and bring over my results to my employer, who usually reimburses me on-the-spot. after which, i start work the next day or after-the-weekend or something like that. 

but this company's case was already in error because, as a malaysian who'll be employed for a supposedly malaysian company (on the payroll at least), i don't need to go through this medical checkup shit, as long as i've already presented myself in-person (which i did, at the sg office on friday the 26th) and it's pretty fucking obvious i can walk and i'm not visibly infirm or physically incapacitated or sth.

i forgot to add that the HR girl already asked for which leg (from my accident) that was injured, when she was booking me this sunday-the-28th's medical checkup. 

it was only then that the receptionists finally said i would be whatsapp-contacted within a week, because that was how long the report would take, and that i would be given some link to an app to download my reports from. at that point in time, i personally thought to myself, phew, i'll finally get a breather before this year ends, and get to do my usual countdown-night and leading-up-to-it self-review and not have these last days ruined by the company like my christmastime was. boy, was i so wrong.

i informed the HR girl about this (medical checkup's report only being ready the next week) and said that, since my autopass could only be renewed no earlier than the 30th anyway, that i would most likely begin work next year. therefore, could i at least have time to look at my job contract? she claimed it was still being drafted. this was starting to sound 'sus' (as gen z nowadays says) to me. made me wonder how long such a "contract" was, and made me realise it was no simple offer letter like it...almost always has been. (and i've worked at so many companies in sg too, so i know the drill.)

so within a few hours, i whatsapp-msged both her and the 'ringleader' about me needing at least 24 hours to look at the job contract thoroughly, i.e. i couldn't just start immediately, or sign the thing within an hour or a few hours only. the HR girl replied the next day, but the 'ringleader' never did, nor did he even bother to (blue-tick) read my whatsapp message, from that sunday morning onwards. *smh.*

around 6pm the next day (monday the 29th) when i had just about finished submitting my autopass-renewal application in advance (i didn't want to send it too early so that, by the time my submission was read, it was finally the 30th like the date of my insurance coverage-in-sg was stated to start), the HR girl whatsapp-wrote that my medical reports are now ready, and that my consent was needed in order to relase the reports to her.

taking a break. this shit is too mentally taxing. resuming 3.12am on 11 jan 2026.

i wrote back to say i was surprised because the medical centre never contacted me, that yes i consented and, was there any consent form needed from me? the HR girl said she'd been "chasing" the centre all day for my reports (thus implying that they finally gave in) and that my message alone was enough of a consent. she then said that the centre would give her the reports by that monday night itself while she would try to "rush up" my job contract so it would be ready the next day.

i reiterated my autopass renewal only likely being renewed after the next day (the 30th) and that i needed 24 hours (at least) to go through the job contract and that new year's day was a holiday anyway. so, i might as well go through the contract during the holiday and she therefore need not try to finish my report by tomorrow. her emoji reaction was 🙏 so i assumed she agreed with me. (i was wrong.)

btw: i also had also written her a few hrs ago, with a reminder of the official toll calculators for both sides of the causeway, and how, even after i calculated rather conservatively for petrol and lunch expenses 

(after pointing out that lunch was 3x my pay, since on friday i was told that no one else claims for lunch – yet that question of mine [about whether anyone else had to enter and exit sg as frequently] was ignored), 

my total estimate was still 76.40 sg dollars per day.

she wrote to ask if i would carpool. i wrote back to tell her that the 'ringleader' had already suggested that a tuesday ago and i had said no.

tuesday the 30th arrives. (i get an email mid-afternoon saying my autopass' renewal had been approved, like i'd mentioned a post ago.) the HR girl starts writing me when the medical centre's official whatsapp asks if i am free for the MD girl to speak to me. i tell the HR girl about what the medical centre said and yet how i still haven't seen my medical checkup's reports. the HR girl PDF-sends them over to me.

i call the medical centre but no one picks up. (it turns out that every time i call for the rest of that day, i never get answer, despite the number's status being 'online' and someone soon whatsapp-messaging me instead.) i say i am ready, but whoever-it-is tells me to wait till the MD girl is free because she's speaking to another 'patient'. in the meantime, i ask for my reports and ask where that link to an app is, that i was in-person told i would be getting? i only get sent the link shortly before the MD girl calls. so when she asks, i truthfully say i haven't yet seen it, so she shares her company device's screen with me and goes through the report.

(the screen is actually too small for me to make out much, so i refer to the HR girl's PDFs instead.) as is common in this state (and she did this too when i first entered her office on sunday), she immediately starts babbling in some nonsense language i can't understand (that is, mandarin). i have to politely ask her to speak in english because i can't (and won't, because of their mostly irritating-to-me, often-bullying-me-for-it culture) comprehend it.

among the first few questions i am asked, is whether i have had heart surgery (no). the MD girl asks me this question several times, and several times i repeat no. she then apologises and says she has been holding off on giving HR my 'medically fit to work' letter because she mixed me up with "a previous patient", hence asking me on sunday to wear a "holter" in future. 

therefore, she told HR i apparently had open-heart surgery something like a year ago, and so because of my extra heartbeat, i needed to be monitored further on that holter thing (with its 24-hr results in and declared non-problematic) in order for her to give HR (i think she meant 'the HR girl') that 'fit to work' letter.

when i later relayed this to my mother, she was furious (but not furious enough to go over and scold  them, or even call them up personally). she said they had made a "big blunder" and if i really did have heart surgery, "where's the scar?". then only did i think back to when the MD girl was reattaching the electrodes to my chest, as if to make sure they were recording my heartbeats correctly. it didn't even occur to me until my mother mentioned this part.

in any case, if it really was a job i wanted, the medical centre could've easily cost me my job for this mistake. which i thought i did...until i saw the job contract. which i'm about to get to.

so i said to the MD girl sth like, "ok, so now u know u've got the wrong person, can you release that letter to my company's HR?". this MD then kept trying to cajole me into seeing a cardiologist for the holter device thing and to get back to her. i said the company certainly wasn't going to pay for future fees and neither was i. i even pointed out that my reports' comprehensive blood tests did include a summary that i was at "low risk" of "cardiovascular disease" and that my platelets', white blood cell and red blood cell counts were all normal.

(sigh...at that point, i started to have flashbacks of beagle's blood tests and how his white blood cell counts were too high and he was listed as anaemic...and yet, the fucking vet immobilized him and told my parents not to bother the dog even though those were his dying last few breaths...*was gonna cry but stopped myself*, back to topic.) 

so the MD girl then said she'd issue the 'fit for work' letter, "but you have to promise me that you'll bring back the holter's results to me, okay?". i reiterated there and then that i was truthfully not going to do any such thing, and anyway the company has been reluctant to pay me my not-even-asking-for-extra per diems to sg, so – if she wasn't gonna give my company the letter, i would just take it as "a sign from above" that i wasn't meant to join the company.

the MD girl then said she'd "discuss with the other doctors" what to do and would get back to me. *literally smh rn...what is there to discuss.* we then ended our call. i then called the HR girl to explain things. at that point, she also said that "after a long discussion", the company wasn't gonna raise my per diems to any higher than 50 sg dollars. i said that was too low. "so if ur not accepting the job, then i don't need to send the job contract?" she asked.

something in me said i had to get something on paper for all i had suffered (as mentioned in an earlier post). so i said sth about needing time to deliberate on whether it was worth it to incur all these losses (when it actually wasn't) and we ended call. 

a few mins later when i asked for my job contract, she said she wasn't giving it without that 'fit to work' letter. i was thinking to myself, what the hell?!? so that's been the truth the entire time, and you've been making up excuses not to tell me about it!

thankfully at that moment, the medical centre's whatsapp line sent me the 'medically fit to work' letter as well as some referral letter to see a cardiologist. i called, no one answered (though online). asked to speak to the MD girl. she soon called back and i thanked her for the letter (and said a whole buncha things including why i still need that letter even if i don't accept the job – best i don't share the details here other than, i need paper proof for reimbursements i had still by-that-point not yet received).

i fwded the letter to the HR girl, she said my contract was on the way and...only 15 minutes later did she say it had been "sent". but there was no attachment in her written whatsapp. that was when i checked my email: it was the only email i ever got from the company, like i'd said (in my earlier post). when i asked for my reimbursements, she said they were cleared and "in the process".

after checking my email and seeing the attachment (but not yet opening it), i asked if i only had 24 hours from then to make my decision. i erroneously entered the date i'd sent her the 'fit to work' letter (roughly 5.15pm) as a time suggestion. she said sth like "yes, so we have time to make plans". so there i was, the pre-sunset before new year's eve, and still having this time range again ruined by this company...for the last time, i decided.

i printed out my job contract (coz it's a lot easier, even for myself, to see in tactile sheets of a4-sized large paper than having to scroll through 14 laptop-screen sized pages of PDFs). went through the contract myself, highlighted points i found troubling or interesting, and then waited for my parents to feel like reading the lengthy contract (which they finally did, shortly before they slept). they then pointed out the points i'd missed out.

i think i'll only point out 1 more (though there are many) below.

contradiction no. 4: the contract stated that as much as possible, they try not to work outside office hours and discourage employees from doing the same. yet, in all my interactions with them so far, they have worked outside of office hours, and ruined both my christmastime and new-year-countdown-and-reflection time, back-to-back. i'll never get those lost moments of end-of-2025 back to spend-without-stress-on again. it's...gone, just like that. and if i'd actually accepted such a job, most likely every holiday and probably every week would be spent working beyond office hours (without extra pay), regardless of what the contract stated.

my mother wanted me to officially decline the job sooner but i rightly said that i was waiting to see if i'd get my reimbursements before then like the company was supposed to've done.

the next day, the HR girl wrote to say that my per diem had been raised to 54 sg dollars and that that amount was final. i rightly pointed out that that was still 21 sg dollars-per-day still too little. at mid-afternoon, i started crafting out a reply email stating the main reasons i was declining the signing of the job contract. the first one started with me doing a literal mathematical breakdown of how much $ i was losing for the first 2 months alone, assuming my per diems were not in the "gross" salary as inaccurately stated in the contract.

i even wrote that, if it really was (my) gross (salary without per diems included), i'd be earning in the negatives for the first month. i submitted my email by 5pm or so. also wrote a similar "sent" whatsapp-msg to the HR girl...who also took a while to get to my email. i then asked again for my reimbursements. she wrote back that she was "chasing" for them "now".

a couple hours later, the HR manager whatsapp-calls me and asks me for confirmation again about my reimbursements. (by that point, i just want whatever $ i was promised. so i don't bother telling her that my train and bus fares weren't included even though the 'ringleader' had originally said they would all be covered.) 

i was telling the HR manager that her company themselves were losing $ by making me go for such an invasive, error-filled medical checkup before letting me look at the contract, which i could've declined prior to that (and then saved them and myself time and $ in going for such an invasive checkup for). the HR manager said she'd been on leave the whole time and had no idea on all that i had gone through.

she then sent me a screenshot of my $ having been remitted over (via [transfer]wise) with a "pending approval" message in it. i had thought at the time that it was (transfer)wise that needed to approve the transaction.

yet an hour later, the HR manager whatsapp-msged to say that the 'ringleader' had finally approved the transaction. (so that was whom the message was addressed to. i've never had a business account on there so idk how it works.) i happened to be checking my email, so my bank email-notified me that my reimbursed $ was finally in, shortly after that. 

that was new year's eve, 8.15pm or so. needless to say, i had a looootta sleep to catch up on. hence me deciding to (unusually) fall asleep early, and then set my alarm to blog ('live', not like now, which is actually at a belated timing of 6.09am on 11 jan 2026) a few minutes before 2026 ended.

thus ends this looong spiel of the 2 major stressors or mistakes of 2025. i'll mention 'things to be thankful for' (from these same 2 specific stressors or mistakes) another day. i need a break after all this...mental unload. it is sunday early morning here, anyway. (sunday is my sabbath mental-rest day, as i said.) thank god the bad part's over (and that i am nearly done with 2025's wrap-up).