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read between the lines
a dead life cold is my roomthe half-open barricades in which i work the tea is hot but only in the pantry i take it in and try to stay awake. straining my eyes staring five hours straight at a time into the filterless computer trying to do a good job of the task i've been given. falling asleep when it gets so cold wake up, only to continue the work in the freezing room. no room to think (sleep beckons). problems lie on the shelf i've put those books back they'll fall out when my mind's not occupied when i'm not dying of sleep when i'm not freezing away. the moon is full a beautiful sight the sea is calm perfect time to take a walk. but one must get back to work get back to home with all its conflicts the yelling and shouting the instigating of anger the lack of understanding between parent and child. only but an experience in the movie of life as the reels finish off where will they take me? will the Lord say "servant, well done" or "thy could have done better"? the devil sits in the darkness he waits behind the scenes he works trying to make me stumble and fall. the very thing that saved me became my downfall. the tables turned the cards changed... but now the fog has cleared the truth stands crystal clear and it is now left to me to change if i can. will god help me? the Shepherd is pruning His fruits pressing them to produce good wine i understand but i lack the discipline, the strength, the will (at times) to continue. knowing is one doing is another. "doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs"... the door stands open sleep beckons so does another day i wait for a better day and a better life. |
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