Recording my journey of trying to make it through life and find God, joy, purpose and meaning along the way...basically in search of eternal life here on earth.

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read between the lines

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

the plan

i had actually planned to hide somewhere for a lot of nights this week. i don't exactly mean staying there and not coming home, but i had planned to actually spend most of my nights hiding out somewhere which i had, erm, discovered by chance last week. intended to use that limited time to really talk to god and sort out all the thoughts in my head...

i was even telling god in silenced desperation sunday night in the bath (too bad the walls have ears) i can't take it anymore and how i would very much look forward to that time with him. but monday came and i got bitten by the dog.....and now half the week is about to be gone. i don't think i'll get much of a chance next week since it's chinese new year and all.

why don't i tell my parents i need some time out? because they just don't understand. they really don't. and they don't listen at all, so even if i tried explaining it to them like i did last year, they would just cover it with a layer of their opinions and not even take into account what i just said. it's almost as if i never said anything. and then the accusations would start. that i'm the problem and there's nothing wrong with our family, yadda yadda yadda.

back to the aforementioned plan to flee...i still want to, more so than ever. i just hope my foot heals in time before the week has passed. speaking of which, i took off my gauze dressing from the doctor's today, under the insistent nagging of my mom.

and i'll continue with yet another post.