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read between the lines
review ugh i really hate this flatulence thing. but i can't say i didn't bring it on myself because i did...even though it was unintentional. at least it doesn't come with unbearable pain tonight.the past two weeks has been really..different for me, hopefully in a good way. events have been so erratic, i've been so erratic...i've tried more new things and done things more differently in this short amount of time than i usually do, but it's not been a bad thing for me so far. i've had a lot to think about. some revelations, rearranging of priorities, a 'call to action' (even though i'm so damn reluctant)...guess it's all part and parcel of the 'renewing of the mind' as mentioned in romans 12:2. been reviewing my life during this time and...i realised how far i've come (i'm trying not to think about the daunting task of how far i have yet to go) from the person i was three years ago. and the person i was three years ago was also a far cry from the person i was four years before that, and so on. that's the wonderful thing about journals, especially the good old pen-and-paper ones (cos you can read those anytime, anywhere without having to connect to a computer). you get to go back in time and see where you were (as in what position you stood on) a few years ago. you relive a few memories, remember those you forgot and compare your past standing to what your current standing is and see what needs to be done, or what has been done between that point and time till now. reliving a few forgotten memories can be good, because i guess it evokes more gratitude for the One who's always been looking out for me and overseeing me no matter how bad i screw up. but of course there's always the bad ones, those that you never forget...but surprisingly for this round of reviews, i found the bad experiences to be quite a useful tool intead of a detrimental one. i guess revisiting those dark moments in time made me realise the providence of god and how His hand has led me from then until now, a moment in time which is thankfully starting to light up, though it's not fully bright yet. (but i believe one day it will, and i don't think i'll have to wait until after i die for it to be so.) and i guess it's funny how god chooses to answer some of my prayers..actually 'funny' is not the right word for it, but i can't quite think of a more accurate word right now. but i guess a simple explanation for what i'm trying to say is, He answers my prayers in a different way than i would've expected them to be answered. and in my recent past i would say that His way is the long, hard way instead of the shortcut i was initially hoping for. but i guess patience is something He wants to (and is still trying to) teach me. overall, i'm thankful that He's got a grip on me or on my life because i obviously haven't (that's something i've only realised in recent years). |
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