Recording my journey of trying to make it through life and find God, joy, purpose and meaning along the way...basically in search of eternal life here on earth.

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I WROTE THIS
pseudo-memoir


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read between the lines

Monday, October 02, 2006

ism(s)

1. when i am very, very angry or stressed, i get very, very hungry.

and i was very, very hungry tonight. the worst part was it began when i just got into the bath so there was nothing i could do for about another hour or so.

2. my mother doesn't mother me, she smothers me.

why can't she just get over the fact that i'm no longer a baby and i actually have my own life to live? and for once i would like to hear her say she approves of me, instead of criticising every move i make. seems like everything i do is never good enough, is never 'worthy' of praise. she's even worse than miranda priestly in the devil wears prada.

3. home is where the hell is.

i don't know why but lately, there's been nights i even start to cry (read: tear up lightly) when i know my time of quiet outside is up and i have to make the trip back home. there are a lot of things i do only because for god, i would do anything, and this is one of them. in normal circumstances, i just wouldn't have the strength or mental capacity to walk back and face it all, whether it's this issue or other issues.