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read between the lines
self-medicate switchfoot's latest album is good 'self-medication', as oprah would say.lesson i learnt today: never treat family out to dinner...BIG mistake. i don't know why but they just make it so hard for me to love them. that we are of the same flesh and blood is so...impossible to comprehend, preposterous even. but then again, i am the 'upgraded model' like my dad said, so it stands to reason that i am no longer with the old ways. things i really didn't like: 1. my brother's antics 2. ending up with a bloated and nearly empty stomach even though i tried so hard for it not to happen again (and it wouldn't have, had i been eating out alone) 3. having to just not say anything even though i was really upset and all i felt like doing was going home or disappearing i kind of scared myself when i threw the plastic paper holder by the telephone the minute i was home alone on a whim. i didn't expect it to break, but it did, and there was paper, pens and plastic all over the place. but in a way it was a good thing it broke beau i felt so stifled with anger i kind of scared myself when i saw the paper, pens and plastic went flying all over the place, because i haven't thrown things in anger like that for many years. |
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