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read between the lines
and so the story goes i was going to blog about something temporarily joyful, or happy from the recent past, but i decided that playing emotional russian roulette wasn't worth it, and that life will always be an inverted bell curve, for better or for worse.i woke up today not from my alarm, but from terrible gastric pains that lasted for hours in the lavatory (and minor 'aftershocks' throughout the day), so i ended up having to take unpaid leave from work. which actually wasn't such a bad thing, because it meant i got the day off to rest. mentally and physically. my stomach's acting up again a little, so i'm hoping this will pass and not haunt me when i next wake. i was glad for the day off, though i couldn't go out at all. i ended up watching episodes of felicity from season one, something which would have been impossible to do had i been in s'pore. reminds me of the complications of adolescent life and how minor issues get magnified a thousand times even though the answer is really simple (yes, i practically grew up watching the show). the DVDs were a rare and recent find last week and cost me a small bomb. i was willing to pay the price though, because i have been looking for these things for years (and am still looking for the remaining seasons). i have taken to distractions again, in a bid to win the war of depression. the latest distraction was shameless purchasing of beloved books, CDs and the DVD, but obviously that can't last for long as it is monetarily based. though i am very grateful that, difficult as the low moments have been, i've never gone back to the lowest low since last year's end, still, i have not won yet. the significance of correct timing is a lesson that keeps coming back to me. so, in due time, i will learn to smile (inwardly and consistently) again. |
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