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read between the lines
sun after the rain i'm so relieved i made it through this week. tomorrow still beckons though, but like i (have to) keep telling myself, it's just one more day...on the other hand, i don't just wanna live life as a series of hurdles that must be overcome, 'cause if that's the case then life's not worth living for at all. but perhaps this is just the teething stage when everything hurts because things haven't had time to settle yet.this week has probably been the first time in quite a while since i've gone out and confronted one of my fears. bad memories can do a lot of damage if one allows their negative connotations with previously neutral experiences to fester unawares which, turns out, is what i've been doing. but i'm certain the statement that god makes all things beautiful in His time wasn't just said for the sake of creating another cliche. if there's anything i've realised this past week it's that things are finally starting to work out in my life, but i've been so caught up in the past that i haven't noticed, or rather i just didn't want to believe it...that life could possibly hold more promise for me than shattered dreams and unattainable desires. i would've love to say i conquered the week and every mountain felt like a molehill, but that wasn't the case...and were it not for grace i often felt i never deserved to experience, i would've just given up and reverted to my old self. many times i nearly caved in...but it is precisely during times like those that god (not my emotions or other things) is truly god of my life, showing Himself to be most powerful in my weakness (2 corinthians 12:9) by reigning over and taking control of my life, when i let Him. i can only pray i learn to trust and allow Him to rule my heart more often. |
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