|
|
|
read between the lines
more misery btw my dog seems to be fine today...he wagged his tail like normal....n i guess i'm kinda surprised. i was worried sick he wud have a crippled tail or sth. but mebbe i shudn't have been surprised, cos i shud've jus trusted god to work a miracle anyway. n mom's migraine went away....that's why she took up verbal fighting again.i've been blasting up all my loudest tunes today jus to numb the pain. n hopefully help me to get back on focus. n i'm beginning to realise that parousia sounds so much like the local malay bands here...which means there's potential for them to reach out to that market too. n recalling what i said earlier about not being able to find peace on earth, i can remember another incident today that also examplified that. i was in the library before going to a coffee house. you'd think that in a library ppl wud leave you alone. but no, instead i got stopped by the cleaner lady and one of the librarians, asking me if i was okay. what the? i wish i had a room in singapore, or somewhere where there's walls so ppl can't actually see what ur doing. i feel so stifled these days. when i pray i like to talk aloud to god. but i can't do that most of the time cos ppl will think i'm insane. n if i'm in a public place it's not exactly like i can be in touch with my emotions aka. shout or cry.so i try to rest my head on the table n talk while hiding under my arms. but then ppl like the librarian n cleaner ask me if i'm all right. what's it to them? jesus, jesus can't you pick me up and bring me somewhere else or at least, please give me the strength to get thru another day. i know i'm prolly being so ungrateful n stuff, but i can't help feeling what i feel. it's not like i can look at a crippled man (which i did today) and go "oh yeah, i feel so grateful already." instead i had an adverse reaction and i'm not going to say what. |
|
|
.jpg){kind=link}