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read between the lines
i'm dead meat i'm so slaughtered. i dunno what's got into me this sem....mebbe it's the fact that i didnt have an emergency plan for emergencies...but somehow i got my dates messed up n i forgot 2 crucial things today:
n the worst thing was.....i totally forgot or was not aware i got the dates wrong until 8 or 9pm, when all was over. sssssssshittttttt. cos for no. 1, it's the module i've been absent the most for previously, all becos of those stupid traffic jams at the causeway (go read my earlier posts). yes, even a taxi failed to help. i think this is the 4th time i'm marked as absent......which means this is my quota....i shud expect a warning letter in my mailbox soon. which means.....i am really gonna DIE if i get absent for this module again. DEBARRED is the word.....shudder. my parents wud kill me if i even graduated 6 mths later. n i'm not sure i can guarantee that i'll never be absent again. it's only jan....i've got feb n march left in sch.....who's to say i might suddenly miss the next class due to unforseen circumstances? think the next time i relly gotta get an mc to cover myself, die die must try. i hate to lie, but if it means debarrment....i think i'd save my ass. n for no 2, well one day late means i jus got 10% of my 20% of that assignment shaved off tonite. jus finished it...which is why i'm still up. ok, so i won't fail the module. but i sure don't wanna get a D (or lower)! sigh. what happened was.....my palm pilot's charger was found to be faulty, like 3 weeks ago, n everytime i call the stupid shop they say they'll order it, it's on the way, all that crap.....but i NEVER get it back. which means no charger = no battery life = no powered palm pilot = all my dates for deadlines n such can't be viewed. which is why i mixed up the dates or totally forgot bout today's 2 things. i had been surviving on writing things on scraps of paper, which i lose anyway, cos i thot i was gonna get the charger back from the stupid shop......but i guess not. n i didn't think of a contingency plan for unavailable palm pilots. shitttt........this leaves me with no choice. tomoro is reform day. i pray i can have the drive n discipline to sort things straight out tmr. tomoro i'm gonna buy myself a diary planner, even though i had been putting it off cos i thot the palm charger wud return, but i see now i can't let myself DIE again....i absolutely CANNOT face debarrment! my parents will murder me n cut me up into little pieces! i'll never hear the end of it! n tomoro i relly relly RELLY gotta spend more time with god. n since i'll be out tmr, i'll probably have a quiet dinner with god. i need it...cos these days being stuck at home is....not conducive enuff to pray. it's either too hot in the afternoons, or my dad is busy doing something outside the hse at the back, which, most unfortunately, happens to be where my room is situated. n since my room isn't soundproof, i don't exactly feel comfortable knowing my dad's around when i'm praying.....i don't even feel comfortable playing music when i know he's there. n i can't even talk out loud.....cos what i want to say in my prayers is so not what i'd want my parents to hear....i mite as well jump down the bridge if i let them read my mind. but a side note..i've been listening more to The Divine Comedy....n i relly mus say it ROCKS (even tho it's not even rock). yup, if u guessed it, i am listening to it now....i'm starting to get used to such a light but rich baritone voice coming from someone who doesn't even look big or burly or anything (btw he's attractively lean on the CD cover where i first saw him, heeh). n one thing about his music that relly stands out.....this is definitely not music that sounds like it's from our times. (n yet it was released last yr, with songs recorded from 2001-2003). he has this old crooner's voice, sort of like those old male singers u hear being played on ur parents' vinyl records (btw our record-player got spoiled a few yrs back)....n the blending of it with not-totally-orchestral (as in not relly classical), not-totally-pop kinda tunes jus makes it a delightful thing to savour, like some unusual ice-cream that tastes nice or sth. when i played it on my laptop while doing my work in front of my mom, i asked her n she did agree that it sounded a lil like it came from her time.....those big band kinda sounds, those half-broadway-ish kinda tunes, with the trombones at the chorus n stuff like that....n there's this song, called "the happy goth", which isn't even goth music at all....it's this nice bossa nova, jazzy kinda song....relly nice to listen to, n his voice fits in relly nicely with that kinda mode. n the way he tells stories thru his songs.....the imagery is very wide, with lots of visual pictures coming to mind when i listen to his lyrics....very pleasant experience, altogether. oh shitt.....it's 4.45? man i relly gotta set my priorities rite....let's hope reform day tomoro relly does pan out....n let's hope the procrastinating side of me stays suppressed, at least for tomoro..... |
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