|
|
|
read between the lines
i've lost the msn war ok. i give up. i've finally surrendered to the powers that be on msn. for years and years i have been deliberately boycotting the msn messenger simply becos of some really fractured ties between certain people i know who use msn n suddenly today i signed in. but i'm still boycotting hotmail, though (i'm using an msn passport). 2 tiny MBs for one email is jus not enuff.how come the sudden action? ask my project group mates. and ask me for finally giving in. for my nearly-two whole entire years of poly (actually it's more like a little over one year, but it won't sound nice with the phrase) i have been strongly fending off repeated attacks from classmates telling me i must get msn so we can discuss sch projects online n today i jus let my defense down. i saw the light. either that or i got swept away by the wave of commercial imperialism by msn. for one-over years my classmates have been discussing project groups online, with some feeding me the vital bits thru icq, of which i am a faithful supporter, and i have been coping well without them. but today...i dunno what got into me but i said okay, i'll sign into msn. after so many years of denial. i've lost the war against msn. yawn. today's been a tiring n stressful day. so not unlike most other days this sem. n when i came back, i had a shouting match between me n my mom.......relly dun wanna stay up late n talk about it. she's making me wake up super super early tmr so i dun have to waste money on taxi fares again...cos lately i've been allotting myself the same duration of hrs to wake up as compared to other days but it jus doesn't work for me for the 8am classes. relly sucks. there's a jam at late-6plus or 7 by the time i get there. n this jam takes one fricking hour or more jus to clear to the singapore side. which means i have no choice but to take a taxi the minute i touch the other side. n which means my parents have to fork out more than usual for me. n of cos they're not liking it. n as for me, i keep saying i'd rather stay in clementi or bukit timah n save myself a lot of trouble......but of cos they never agree n this escalates into a big fight. yes, today's shouting match had sth to do with that. roughly this is what happened:
sigh. relly dun wanna think bout it rite now. i mean, i come back home, tired, sleepy, weary, a bit more prone to snap becos of the lack of sleep n cos i already dealt with a good deal of stress in sch, n instead i get salt added to my wounds. so i reacted naturally....n unfortch i forgot about following god's example for a while. sometimes i think i mus be the stupidest of all my jb frens. i mean, i look at my frens n i see them going to kl, australia, even the UK, n i'm seeing more of them leaving this feb n this june too (sob) to further their studies...they're so happy, living on their own, fending for themselves, having no parents to nag-scold-irritate them....n then i look at myself n i think: so stupid. of all places, i choose somewhere which is near enuff for my parents to grab hold of me n exert their authoritarian rules. guess running to another country's not far enuff. mebbe i shudda gone to kl too....or thailand....or australia, since at that time i remember the exchange rate was about the same as singapore too. but no. instead i decided to stay here. oh joy. yippee. actually one of the main reasons why i chose here over other places was becos of my 3 puppy-like dogs. if not for them, i'd have taken the first flight outta here. if not for them. becos i learnt too well the lesson of how short dogs' lives are. when my previous dogs passed away i cudn't forgive myself for months over the times i didn't spend with them, like forced family vacations n stuff like that. n that time i was thinking, i'm gonna be studying for at least 3 yrs...n 3 yrs is a lot in doggy days...it's 21 dog years. so yeah, they played a crucial role in my decision-making. n i dun regret that. ok, so my parents r relly unfair, n my brother's so annoying that he's worse than a fly, but......god put me here for a reason. oh shit...look at the time. i'm gonna be so tired tmr. |
|
|
.jpg){kind=link}