Recording my journey of trying to make it through life and find God, joy, purpose and meaning along the way...basically in search of eternal life here on earth.

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I WROTE THIS
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read between the lines

Friday, October 21, 2005

loss

"So then, submit to God. Resist the Devil, and he will run away from you. Come near to God, and he will come near to you. Wash you hands, you sinners! Purify your hearts, you hypocrites! Be sorrowful, cry and weep; change your laughter into crying, your joy into gloom! Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
-- James 4:7-10
i'm weeping, all right, i'm weeping all right.

a few nights ago, i did just that. and then i got up and flipped through the bible and realised i was doing something that was already in the bible. the only difference was, then, i was in a state of total submission to god, which is the very first thing on the list right there, the pre-requisite to making the devil flee.

found out the PM's wife (m'sia) just passed away at 7.55am this morning.

today, i lost a friend too. not to death, thankfully, but it's still a loss i'm finding extremely hard to bear.

it's hard to let go, it's hard to let go.

the first thing i saw when i turned to the bible was this: "But the grace God gives is even stronger (James 4:6)." this was in response to "Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely(James 4:5)?" it comforted me for that moment.


The Hardway (Welcome to the Freak Show version)
by dc Talk

(Toby) "There comes a point in all of our lives when you gotta learn the hardway."

Now I've been high and I've been low
I've been some places that you will not go
I never thought there would come the day
when I wished I never would've lived this way

But I've been searching for a long time
I thought the devil was a friend of mine
I turned my back on everything that was true
and wasted years that belonged to You

Some people gotta learn the hardway
I guess I'm the kinda guy that has to find out for myself
I had to learn the hardway
I'm on my knees and I'm crying

And I'm crying, yeah I'm crying
(Deep down you don't stop, deep down you don't breathe)

It took so long for me to see
that I'm a victim of the nature in me
Left to myself, I realize
I am the maker of my own demise

But You accept me every time and again
You never mention just how selfish I've been
Why must it always take me so long to see
that I have fallen, but you will forgive me?

Some people gotta learn the hardway
I guess I'm the kinda guy that has to find out for myself
I had to learn the hardway
I'm on my knees and I'm crying

(Deep down you don't stop, deep down you don't breathe)
Need Your help
(Deep down you don't stop, deep down you don't breathe)
I need Your help

some people gotta learn the hardway
I guess I'm the kinda guy that has to find out for myself
I had to learn the hardway
I'm on my knees and I'm crying

The warning signs are like flares in the night
Still I proceed, my greed is in spite
of the fire I know that's bound to burn
Why is it that I always gotta learn the hardway?

I gotta learn the hardway
I gotta learn the hardway
I gotta learn the hardway

Forgive me Father, please forgive me

Forgive me, forgive me
Won't you forgive me
Forgive me

Won't you forgive me
Forgive me, forgive me