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read between the lines
slanging away it's 4. and i'm up again. posting yet another dry post. i don't know why...but i just want to stay up. no, actually i know why, it's just i can't help it. i can't help wanting to steal some peace and quiet to myself. speaking of which, my mom transformed into mrs. hitler again when i reminded her that uni applications are gonna open next week. sheesh. i don't know what to say.she says she can't afford lodging fees. aigh. god will provide a way, wad. the way i see it, it seems pretty clear-cut to me. my parents are making up all kinds of stupid, translucent excuses as a cover-up for them secretly not wanting to let me go. aiya, think i so blind, you guys only fool yourselves. don't want to admit summore. suddenly i feel so colloquial tonight. must splash in a bit of the lahs and aiyas. i'm half-asleep but i don't want to sleep! exhale deeply.....oh well. i seem to be saying the same thing over and over and over again. doesn't that get a bit boring i wonder, and yet i am able to put it in so many different words every time. i happened to watch The Swan today (hey, i was waiting for my mom to finish spring-cleaning in the middle of the night okay!) and the lady who was to be surgically enhanced for the episode, Delisa, said this very interesting quote: "I don't mind being alone, but I mind being lonely." hmm....all i can say is, hmm...........okay i'll say more since reason's falling out the window and light-headedness is taking over. i kinda agree with what she said. there are times when i need to be alone, i've realised. it's just the way i deal with pressure. i need to "time out" and i do it as a natural defense. but, it's another thing altogether to feel lonely. thank god my "lonely" thoughts aren't attacking me now, as in recently. it feels good to feel the way you know you were meant to feel. |
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