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read between the lines
from yesterday thank you, friend, for giving me a reality check today.okay. so i'm still retaining remnants of yesterday. even if i feel so much better and perfectly fine today. thank you for reminding me that sometimes we sweep things under the carpet and assume we have forgiven the other party...until the next crossing of swords occurs. to be honest, i think i became more unforgiving as the years passed. i used to forgive and forget easily...and like a naive puppy i just let people step all over me and inflict wounds on me that still remain until today. after that i felt i had to protect myself. wanted to minimise the risk of getting hurt again. but in the end? i still got hurt anyway. guess it's like c.s. lewis says (below), it's either you become a hermit and live in antartica or you become (or strive to be) people-centric and get stabbed, poked and played out more often than not. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”so why be people-centric? why care about the rest of mankind if sometimes it feels like the rest of mankind doesn't care about you? or why bother to involve yourself so deeply in people's lives that you're bound to get hurt or angered at one point or another (and depending on the person, either forgive and forget or forego and forsake) whether intentionally or not? simple reason: because you want to follow jesus, who cared about people enough to see something in them worth loving beyond all their faults. now that kinda love is something i've never had the capacity for (if i did, it was all from god) and will constantly be asking god for a continual flow of. p.s. today's entry title is stolen from 30 seconds to mars' song. and yes, yesterday's title was from daniel pewter's. We Are One Tonight by SWITCHFOOT I'll rise I'll fall I'll fail You all We built these cities To stand so tall We've lost our walls I don't want to lose it coming down With the whole world upside down I don't have a soul to trust in now With the whole world upsidedown We are one tonight And we're singing it out We are one tonight And we're dreaming out loud And the world is flawed But these scars will heal We are one tonight, tonight, tonight Two eyes One tongue I've come Undone I'm no victim I paid these dues I came to lose I don't want to fight about it now With the whole world upside down I don't have a soul to trust in now With the whole world upside down We are one tonight And we're singing it out We are one tonight And we're dreaming out loud And the world is flawed But these scars will heal We are one tonight, tonight, tonight I don't want to lose a common ground With the whole world upside down I don't want to fight about it now In a world that's burning out Let's slow the evening down Slow it down, slow down Please slow down, down, down The stars are comin' out We are one We are one We are one We are one tonight We are one tonight And we're singing it out We are one tonight And we're dreaming out loud And the world is flawed But these scars will heal We are one tonight, tonight, tonight So fight it out, so fight it out So fight it out, right now So fight it out We're still fighting out We'll still fight it out 'Till we're one tonight 'Till we're one tonight |
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