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read between the lines
X & Y listened to coldplay's new "speed of sound" from their brand-new "X&Y"....the opening tune smells of nostalgia and that other-worldly, almost haunting feel i get when i listen to splendor and dc talk's "supernatural" album....fantastic stuff, this coldplay kicker...takes a while to sink in, thoughtoday was....i dunno. i guess i'm safe when i'm home? i dunno. or maybe i'm choosing not to think about what worries me. went for my second baptism class today. i was more alive than the last, so to speak, haha. maybe cos this time at least i was on time...n prolly cos of prayer. n other circumstances....like not having to sit on the stiff plastic seats and getting to choose places on the sofa cushions instead... i've noticed something....it seems as of late that everyone seems to be catching the spiritual flu bug....dropping like flies n stuff....n it amazes me that god can look after and attend to so many complex, individual lives, all at the same time....i mean, ok, so he's god.....but still i marvel at the task.... we're all searching in this life to hold on to something so much better......and sadly, some are losing hope...it sucks when u have to be the one to watch them totter between life and death, spiritually speaking, or light and darkness....it's always the same battle....good vs. evil....oh how we long for a perfect home aka. heaven so much... oh how i long for that perfect sanctuary so much sometimes...some zen-like place with water splashing over rocks and a garden full of green all around me...i get that (read: other-worldly) feeling too when i hear that weird piano tune being played over the yoga lady's sunraysia cranberry juice ad....or sometimes, for a split second...i like to imagine what a perfect life would be like, in some kinda parallel universe where everything works out smoothly.....but these days i'm getting snapped back to reality much faster (like in minutes) compared to last time, when my head was still in the clouds and i was still plugged into my simulated garden of eden..... i sense some danger here in too much longing, or holding on too much to emotion.....in fact, just a few hours ago i was actually mad about something so small and trivial...after a few minutes (and after prayer) i was like, i can't believe i got mad over a stupid photo...it's amazing what lack of reasoning can do to you. i wonder how i'd be like if i was not prone to swinging like a yoyo between hurt and anger....would that necessarily be good? wouldn't i be some kinduva robot, forever smiling? cos wouldn't that mean my human side's taken outta me? i think i'd lose the ability to empathise....not that me empathising always does any good anyway, or maybe it's not for me to see the effects it has on someone's life..... |
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