Recording my journey of trying to make it through life and find God, joy, purpose and meaning along the way...basically in search of eternal life here on earth.

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Friday, April 29, 2005

god of wonders

hmm...tried posting yesterday nite but blogger had problems again....n the worst thing is, it didn't even auto-save the post for me! so that's down the drain, which means i gotta type again...n i relly feel too lazy to type everything out, cos it's just not the same, as that moment when you're putting emotion to (electronic) paper and just letting your thoughts pass from your brain to the keyboard to the screen.

but basically the gist of what i was saying yesterday was that, god opened the door for me on monday...but i did not open it fully -- either that, or he has yet to open the door fully...but we'll see what happens...i was pretty surprised by my teammate's reactions...but that stuff's really uncertain....one thing i DO know for sure though, is that, God changed my heart towards someone on that day.

maybe it had to do with the unexpected tears that came out while i was praying earlier (i didn't plan to, the spirit jus took hold of me at that time) or maybe it was a culmination of many things (more likely), but it certainly was like someone pulled the invisible blinds off my eyes and i could look at that someone no longer through a tinted lens anymore...and i felt really free, and really able to forgive (that person)...and for the first time, i cud actually see the authenticity in that someone's actions and thoughts....i was finally able to see.i hope i continue seeing...
guess there's really something in praying for your "enemies", heh....

also, here's a small part of what i wrote yesterday (extracted from my other blog):

been reading the prayer of jabez again, after not reading it for 4 years, since i have been confined to the bed since yesterday...and it's sparking off new challenges for me...challenges that god can do greater things than these...if only i ask. we'll see...

as for today, i have two observations:

1) most of the ppl in my circle who have friendster blogs actually just have empty blogs with nothing on them really.....seems like i'm the only one blogging. ?? i guess everyone's not as bothered as me to double-blog, or shud i say triple-blog....

2) my gentle bear, the one who'd never hurt me, has given his sister a red (as opposed to black) aka. bloodied eye and an injured paw....him of all ppl! but my dad said he didn't really mean it..it happened today during one of his show-off occasions, cos he has this thing of pretending to act strong when ppl are watching, haha...but my parents seem to think she's ok, nothing serious...so i hope so too...cos my parents, well, they're not the type to go to the doc's, not even for serious stuff...ah, such is the lesson i can learn from them...next time, i'm definitely taking my kids / dogs to the clinic if they have prolonged ailments.

by the way, as noticed, i am no longer confined to the bed...although still confined to the home to recover a little bit more though...which is great! er, ok...the fact that i'm happy, means there's much to beware....cos from experience, there's always something bad round the corner if you're growing in god...geez...hope it's not my worst fears come true! harh...i hope not