the person whom i refer to as my second mother, introduced this to me when i was in form 1 or 2 i think. she was teaching pendidikan moral or moral education at the time, and she always made it fun by adding topics and room for discussion about stuff not related to the stupid syllabus, which was (and still is) brainless.

this thought just popped into my head on sun when i heard the vineyard kids' representative sing a song she wrote, and it's sorta been stuck at the back of my mind for days after that: did it ever occur to you, jess, that God is coloring your life with experiences to give you more fodder to write about in your songs in future? not that this thought has never crossed my mind, but...i just sort of forgot about it along the way, just like i keep forgetting the basic principles of so many things. i need to constantly be reminded about what i just learnt in Christ.

and i was brought back to the memory of a tough time when i was struggling against opposition from all sides concerning my lousy SPM marks and the future of my studies, and when one friend wrote to me and told me that it could be that God was using these experiences to give me something to songwrite about later.

interesting indeed. i would like to pour out my feelings more and jot down what i've been wondering the past few days, but now is not the time, because once again my brother wants to be irritating and he refuses to sleep even though it is relatively late, therefore leaving me no privacy to write this (he keeps sneaking glances at this thing, the jerk).