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read between the lines
incense god, i know you love me. but sometimes i just feel too weak to carry on. i know life has its ups and downs, but mine seems to be constantly downhill for the most part of over a year. and everytime something good happens and i start to think this time of testing could be over, something even shittier than the last will come crashing down on me and i'll start to sink again just when i thought i saw the sky.i know you permit these things to happen and you want me to grow and i do admit i have grown, mentally, spiritually, a lot, but though at times i am aware of your grace especially in times when it is most obvious that i could not have gotten through the day without you, i am starting to feel constantly weaker and weaker. so maybe that is your point exactly, to make me broken and humbled. and broken i am, broken i am. broken so that i may acknowledge that the power belongs to the Most High like you said in corinthians. and who can forget that when i am at my weakest you are at your strongest? but sometimes i can't see the power that's behind me working through me. and more and more so, i feel like i've lost a lot of my willpower. there are some social hurdles that i used to always tackle with thick-skinned perseverance that i feel too weak to tackle anymore. and it's not looking good on me; the worst part is some people are starting to misunderstand again. i feel so sick of trying that i've stopped trying even though every week i say i will try to grin and bear it. these people intimidate me. i know you want to prepare me for the real world, but i find it very ironic that usually it is my own sister that betrays me instead of one who has not seen the light. how can it be that the non-christians are more likely to be trustworthy or supportive than the so-called christ-followers? i don't even know whether to ask for leniency or renewed inner will because neither seems right. i just know after i die it will all make sense to me. lord i want to live for you. and i know to do that you've been making me die to self so much. but don't let me die until there's nothing left of me to live for. and please let me see and feel your love at all times because i need it so much. enable me to focus on you because i keep getting distracted. lead me, your sheep along the right path and never let the thief come and steal me away. help me to do what is right. and give me a sound mind, as you have promised in timothy. help me keep that sound mind and stop being blurred by fogs of emotion. all this in jesus' name i pray, amen. Believe by NEWSBOYS as i lay me down where do i begin so simply complicated the voice within i hear it singing so clear invisible like the sound of the wind we all know you are there i just believe i just believe it sometimes i dunno why gotta go with my gut again on this one not just a feeling it's a reason we know a line is crooked `cause we know what's straight that little voice inside as i lay me down i confess i'm a fool for you no more, no less and in this world turning gray strikes a chord when i say there is black there is white there is wrong and there is right i just believe i just believe it sometimes i dunno why gotta go with my gut again on this one there is no alibi if it's not the truth it's..... i'm falling for the truth again not by the wisdom of a man or a machine this is not preference or a taste that is amused the evidence of things unseen the more you look the more you'll see i just believe i just believe it sometimes i dunno why gotta go with my gut again on this one i just believe i just believe it if there's ever been a God it's now i hear that still small voice inside |
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