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read between the lines
stressed today was a crappy day for me. i had a tough time practising forgiveness. i still am. cos it was just revealed to me the day before yesterday over quiet time that: the one thing i needed the holy spirit's power from in my life is....forgiveness. cos i realised that all the problems i am facing rite now have to do with me not forgiving that person / people about what they did to hurt or anger me....but it's so hard. i tell you i am so pissed at my parents n my brother rite now. i cant even like do my work at home in peace n quiet...and heck i'm supposed to have a test tomoro!as for why today was crappy, well i woke up today and i got ill over breakfast. gastric pains n stuff. had to waste money (again!) on taxi cos by the time i came outta the loo i was late. then, in sch, i nearly failed my dalet radio test, the one i had been panicking on the whole week. i had hoped to get at least a B for that, n i relly thot i wud get it since a kind soul helped me out during practice session today (god bless ya, i never expected you to). but instead i messed up cos i panicked n it was all bad.... then i went home, still rather ill. slept till dinner, woke up, n found i was unable to do work or study for my test becos the whole hse is so fricking noisy. it's a bit silent now, but that's becos i jus had a shouting session with my dad over my stupid irritating brother n before that i was trying to control the little rascal. on top of anger, i feel so stressed and like, wanting to crack. i dunno whether to cry or swear, and i don't feel like doing either rite now. i feel like running into the Big Guy's arms and hide. (big guy = god) i'm throwing out a lifeline. god, help, please.......need you to get thru all this. sigh. test to study, work to do, not feeling well.... |
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