Recording my journey of trying to make it through life and find God, joy, purpose and meaning along the way...basically in search of eternal life here on earth.

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read between the lines

Thursday, July 14, 2005

headphones to above

Surrender
by GEOFF BULLOCK

You're softening my heart
To the knowledge of Your love
And opening my eyes
You light the way

To love You
Words alone cannot express
All the hope that You have placed
Within me
In between each heartbeat, Lord
I surrender

I surrender to You
I surrender to You
Everything I am and ever hope to be
I surrender to You

You gently pick me up
Wash me with your love
And opening my ears
You speak the Word

Healing
Releasing all the hurts and fears
By the hope that You have placed
Within me
In between each heartbeat, Lord
I surrender

I surrender to You
I surrender to You
Everything I am and ever hope to be
I surrender to You

--
don't know how but this song suddenly came seeping into my mind as i was having quiet time with Him. haven't sung or seen this song for quite a while already. think god's trying to tell me something. surrender, perhaps? it's true i haven't exactly trusted Him with the future. i keep asking how now brown cow? i just can't seem to rest easy not knowing what to do next.

while doing a word search i happened to chance upon this site and one of its webpages had this gem of a quote which opened my eyes in the light of what i'm currently dealing with (and which i truly attest to, come to think of it):
"The men who have most fully illustrated Christ in their characters, and have most powerfully affected the world for Him have been men who spend so much time with God as to make it a notable feature in their lives... To be little with God is to be little for God."
-- E.M. Bounds
i confess that when things start getting good i tend to cut down on my quiet time with God, feeling more content to revel in my new-found riches and joys rather than to look to the Maker who made these things possible in the first place. not that i intentionally do so, but...it is a habit of mine, committed more often than not, even if i'm aware of it or not.

so maybe this is my time again...maybe He's calling me to come back, telling me to spend more time with Him than before as of late. also found the following verses on the same page, which really pricked my heart after all my searching and probing for an answer tonight:

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -- Jeremiah 29: 13

and this, which has been ringing (albeit dully) in my ears all this while already:
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." --Matthew 6: 33
no need to embolden or italicise the words that stand out the most in this verse. a lot of thoughts are rolling in my head right now. so i don't wanna say what i should or shouldn't be doing because i really don't know yet. but it has sparked off an interesting debate with reason and with god, which i'm gonna resume now...